Nobody can deny, deny, having children cooped up in the house on a rainy day can be one of the most infuriating and frustrating experiences ever especially when you not only have your own children in the house but the rest of the streets children as well.

So what do you do?

Well as a parent it is your responsibility to help these children develop the skills to act in a responsible way. The most effective way, is to do that by getting all the children involved in activities together, with you. This will do two things, one it will help you set the ground rules on behavior in the house that is acceptable and two it will allow the children as a whole to socialise and to work as a group together. Learning the ability to socialise and to work together as a team will hold them in great stead as they enter university or go into the work force.

So how do we do that …I have outlined below four strategies that will help you to keep the children occupied whilst it is raining outside.

Strategy 1 – Play Group Games

In the hustle and bustle of our world today, far too many families do not spend enough time socialising with their children. One of the best ways to do this is to turn off the computer or computer games and to play a group game together regardless of the age of the children. That is right; you can include children as young as 2 and as old as sixteen with these games. The choice which is most important is the game you play.

When you are playing group games, everyone must have a role for each person or if someone is not included they are going to become disruptive and this strategy will not work. One of the games my parents used to play with me, my brother and our friends was Monopoly. Now I here you all saying it, how is a two year old going to play this game. Well, in reality, you need to include the younger people with the older children so that they can work as a team.

The older member makes the decision on what houses to buy, whether to build a hotel or how much rent to charge but the younger children, can role the dice and count to where the pieces need to go on the board, slightly older children at the age of 5 or 6 could actually read the Chance cards out. From an educational point of view, having the two year olds count the number of squares their piece needs to jump to will help with them learn their numbers for school. Getting the 5 or 6 year olds to read the Chance cards helps them to learn to read and being in a team with an older child will help them learn as a team and the older children learn the ability of patience and also how to work in a team with people of varying age. Plus the most important thing is that the older children learn the value of money.

Ultimately, playing group games like this will help all of the children and adolescents in their development towards becoming an adult and you as the parents will get to keep your sanity for another day. One thing I would strongly suggest is that you never tell a child they are to young to be involved, always find something for them to do in the game, so that they feel just as involved as the others. If you have ever watched a child grow up, they always tell you that they are a big kid now, help them to become one and play an important role in society as the skills you teach them now are what they will use as adults.

Strategy 2 – Have a Bake Off

Rainy Days are absolutely fantastic for Bake Off days. Now if you do not know what a bake off day is, it is a day where the kids make their own deserts for lunch or afternoon tea. These were fantastic times in our family and one of the key benefits it taught me was how to cook. In the days of fast food, many adults have seemed to by pass the art of cooking. When I met my wife, she was flat out boiling an egg but over the last few years she has become an accomplished cook.

When you have a bake off, cook simple things like cookies or muffins as these are really simple things to cook and all the children regardless of age can help. Whilst I do not condone 2- 8 year olds going anywhere near an oven (that is for grown ups) they can play an important role in putting all the ingredients together, mixing them, measuring them out and most importantly decorating them at the end. The key advantage of getting them to do the measuring them is to help them learn measurements, counting and numbers. You can also get them to read the instructions in the cook book or on the back of the packets.

When the cookies or muffins are ready to be decorated, play a game with the children in getting them to count the number of items they are going to put on their cookies or muffins. For example if they were going to put a face on the muffin, talk about how many eyes will you put on the muffin, where will you put the mouth on the muffin and how many ears will it have. Each of these discussions will help in learning to count and they will also improve their skills in expressing themselves.

Strategy 3 – Discuss A Book, Video or Computer Game Together

When people first here of the third strategy, they immediately think about books like the Lord of the Rings, or Harry Potter but they do not have to be. Look when you have a number of children in your house, get them all together, read a book to them and then talk about the book. Doing this is going to help in their development and will give them a huge step forward when it comes to high school.

Learning to analyse a book and express what you think are the messages of the book will help your children immensely when they go to school. In High School today across the western world, one of the tasks in their English classes they are going to be expected to read a book and then write an essay about the messages they have found in the book and the sooner they learn these skills, the more effective they will be in their classes.

For younger children you might read a Dr Seuss book and then look at the pictures with them. Talk to your children about the pictures. For example if you are reading a book about hats and there is a hat on the ground, talk about what might be under the hat. Get the children to tell you the colour of the hat.

In essence it doe not matter whether you read a book, watch a video or play a computer game, to gain some educational value and to get your children thinking, simply talk about what they have seen or read. Get them to talk about the messages that may have been in the book or video and when it comes to computer games, talk to them in terms of strategy and how they can do better next time. Our children have an innate want to learn and the more we can foster that attitude the more your children will grow and learn and play an important role in society.

Strategy 4 – Make Meditation Into A Game

Meditation … I know, I saw you stop and think then. Meditation for kids, you have got to be kidding. No! If you can teach children how to meditate at a young age you will find that they will continue it as they get older. It has also been shown that children who know how to meditate will be much calmer and in control of their emotions. Further to this, it has been shown that adults who meditate over longer periods have less coronary disease. I watched a research documentary a few years ago where they took ten people who had never meditated and had incredibly high blood pressure and taught them to meditate. They found over a 6 month period those people were able to control their blood pressure more effectively. In fact when they began to meditate for a period of 20 minutes their blood pressure dropped dramatically.

Look the bottom line is this, Buddhist monks have been meditating as part of their religion for thousands of years and it amazes me to this day how many monks live to an age over 100 years so all I can say is there is definitely something in this. For the past 10 years I have used meditation to help control my stress levels and I feel much better for it.

Meditation for children must be fun and simple. The techniques for children never involve mantras or anything along those lines, they should simply teach the children how to relax and to focus on their inner self. There are lots of internet sites available on teaching children to meditate but one thing you must consider, be very cautious of the type of music you use for meditation. I recommend Baroque Meditation music that has 60 beats a minute as this is the heart rate we are supposed to have. Research has shown that baroque meditation music at 60 beats a minute actually promotes the release of alpha waves from both our left and right sides of our brains. These alpha waves help bring about a sense of calm and can also help in promoting creativity, learning and calmness.

Look the bottom line is this, if you want to decrease the stress in your house on those rainy days, then the best way is to occupy your children. By using these four strategies I have outlined, you are also helping your children in their development and as a parent that should always be the most important thing you need to consider. Your children are you future and the future of this world, by helping in their development, let us hope they will contribute to a much more safer world.

To finish off, I really want to take a moment to reiterate the Four Strategies once again:

Strategy 1 – Play Group Games

Strategy 2 – Have a Bake Off

Strategy 3 – Discuss A Book, Video or Computer Game Together

Strategy 4 – Make Meditation Into A Game

Chris has a Six Step Meditation Program called Relaxation Techniques for Stress Management, Baroque Meditation Music – Meditation Music and Seven Ways of Reducing Stress

It may be hard to believe but a fish tank will require a lot of care and management. If you have had problems in keeping your fish alive even for a few months, you will need to take a closer look at your fish tank. It may sound simple but it’s anything but simple. Taking care of the aquarium will require some effort on your part and you will need to plan in advance in order to get the techniques right. The normal life spans of the archetypal tanks are measured in years and not in months, but the life of the fishes vary from species to species. These fish have the potential to live anywhere between 3 to 7 years, and the goldfish can survive for almost 20 years.

If you are taking the care of your fish tank, the right way, the life span of your fish will increase dramatically and they will be able to live out their whole life span. One of the major requirements you will need to pay attention to are the food supplies. The food supply tends to vary with the change of season and guess what, so does the feed amount. Hence, you should try to serve your fish with less food during winter and more during summer. You may already be aware of the fact that small fishes are under constant threat of an attack from the bigger ones, so it may be a good idea to keep the small fishes separately in a tank all on their own. Usually the fish don’t become old and die, but get eaten by others when they grow weak. As macabre as that may seem, that’s a fact when it comes to fishes, of course, the tank could always do them in first especially if you haven’t taken care of it.

Fish tanks can become breeding grounds for various kinds of diseases, so you will need to sanitize the tank when cleaning it in order to protect your fishes from these diseases. The fish can get various types of illnesses, so you’ll need to do all you can to prevent them from becoming sick in the first place. If you’re a hands on sort of person and would prefer to treat the fish on your own, you would be better off hitting the books in the quest of getting information on fish diseases. You’ll need to learn about the various diseases and the effective methods of treatment for the same. In such cases, prevention is much better than cure, and you should clean the tank regularly to avoid these problems. The fish tank should have good-quality water and the fishes should be provided with a balanced diet. Poor quality water can stress out the fish so you’ll need to take care that the water is of good quality and aerated properly. Generally their immune systems are strong enough to protect them from a few disease-causing organisms, but if you prefer not to leave anything to chance, you’ll need to start cleaning the tank on a regular basis. You should check the tank regularly to ensure that the fishes are in good health, and do not end up falling prey to some disease. You can generally make this out form observing any changes in their physical appearance or in their activities. If you do notice the same, then it’s time to start cleaning the filter, the tank and change at least one third of the water in the aquarium.

Medication can be added to the water in the fish tank but it needs to be done carefully. If the fishes are sick then it is better to opt for treating the fish than just dunking them in medicated water. There are a few fish medications that are not effective and can actually cause more harm to the sick fishes. As the physical condition of fishes start to improve, you can start changing the tank water on a regular basis again. You will need to remember that fishes require constant care and you can do so by cleaning the aquarium first. The water in the tank is the main source of survival for the fishes, and carelessness here would result in loss of their lives.

Remember that certain kind of fish require special modifications to be carried out to the tank in order to ensure that they remain healthy. It could be the ambient water temperature, so you will need to check the water temp every now and then, to ensure that there are no accidents. Other than the temperature, you’ll need to ensure that the water is aerated; you will be able to get all you need at any of top of the line pet supply stores. Maintaining a fish tank can take quite a bit of effort on your part but once you have done it a couple of times, it will seem easy. The hard part lies in actually putting your thoughts to action and getting to clean up that tank.

There are some wonderful resources out there like this site on fish tanks [http://bubblyfishtanks.com]. Alternatively, for more information on setting up a fish tank or fish tank accessories in general have a look at this site full of great information regarding fish tank filters [http://bubblyfishtanks.com/11/fish-tank-filters/].

The Invention of Cable Television & Alternatives to Cable TV

There are many claims to the first CATV system, but only one thing is for certain; it originated in the United States and, according to one famous recollection, cable television had its beginning in 1948 in Mahanoy City, Pennsylvania. Community antenna television, as it was then called, was invented by John and Margaret Walson out of a necessity to bring television to their customers. They owned The Service Electric Company, a company designed to sell, install, and repair appliances. When they started selling television sets in 1947 their Mahanoy City customers were reluctant to buy because of reception issues. This particular region of Pennsylvania had difficulties picking up the stations in nearby Philadelphia due to the mountains that surrounded them.

To solve this problem, Walson installed an antenna on a utility pole that he placed on a local mountain top. It allowed him to demonstrate that the televisions could pick up good broadcasts coming from some of the Philadelphia stations using modified signal boosters and cable to connect the antenna to his store. So, in 1948, he charged a small fee and connected the antenna to several of his customers’ homes as well, marking the beginning of the cable television business.

The early 1950s saw further development of the cable system. By then, the FCC had released its hold on a three year long freezing of new television station construction and had “assigned a nationwide television broadcasting plan”, leading to the fairly rapid development of new television stations. Department stores began to encourage television viewing by displaying several different models for sale. Of course, this meant that television antennas had to also be sold. At the time, each home or apartment required its own antenna, creating a somewhat unsightly “forest of antennas” on the roofs of some apartment buildings.

This prompted Milton Jerrold Shapp to create a system that used only one master antenna for an entire building. He did so using coaxial cable and signal boosters, enabling the cable to carry several signals at once. Not too long after that, another appliance store owner experiencing the same problem as that of the Walsons read about Mr Shapp’s system. Figuring that, if it could work for apartments and department stores, it could work for an entire town as well and he set up the first cable television system similar to how we know it today.

Because of Mr Shapp’s innovative new system, television spread like wild fire throughout the country, enabling remote and rural areas to receive a signal and “by 1952, 70 ‘cable’ systems served 14,000 subscribers nationwide”. But, of course, people would not remain content with allowing the cable system simply to be used as a means of providing better signal strength to rural areas.

Toward the end of the decade, cable operators began using technologies to pick up signals from stations hundreds of miles away, irreversibly changing the way the cable and television industry operated. This new found ability to import more signals from distant stations also allowed for more programming choices. Now, the cable systems that only allowed for three channels (one for each network) soon changed, allowing room for seven or more channels due to the fact that they could pick up programs from distant independent stations (2). This created more interest in cable as a provider for city television as well because of the variety in choices it allowed.

By the early 1960s there were nearly 800 cable network systems in business. Many of these cable network companies started expanding into multiple cities, causing the beginning of the multiple system operator (MSO). Yet, the local broadcasters were afraid of the competition that cable companies were creating so they asked the government to stop the importation of signals by cable companies. The freeze that the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) placed on the importation of cable signals lasted until 1972.

In 1972 the service channels that people pay an extra premium for were started when Service Electric began to bill for Home Box Office (HBO). It had a minimal beginning with about a few hundred viewers the first night. However, it has become one of the largest pay cable services around. It is because of its success that so many others have followed.

In addition, the craving for more channels led the FCC to issue a rule in 1969 that required “all CATV systems with over 3500 subscribers to have facilities for local origination of programming by April 1, 1971″. Furthermore, in 1976, the FCC decided to require that new systems must have more than 20 channels to choose from and that cable providers that had more than 3500 must provide public channels for education as well as government access.

Thus, cable television has been divided into two different services: basic service and premium services. Basic cable generally includes the local television networks and a few other common channels that are not transmitted with any type of encryption method while premium channels scramble their signals. They include channels such as HBO, Cinemax, Showtime, and Starz and are generally paid for in various extra packages in addition to the basic service.

The fees for service, whether basic or premium, did not defer customers and by the 1980s the major three television networks (ABC, CBS, and NBC) had all but lost their monopoly on viewers. “The era of network television” was coming to an end. Even other news networks began to emerge. “By 1985, 68% of all American households (60 million) had cable television service” . Cable News Network (CNN) first appeared on the scene in 1980.

With the emergence of all the new cable networks, cable television revolutionized the way Americans viewed television, and inspired many more changes yet to come. The invention of the VCR and, still later, the DVR would follow suit, yet again changing how American’s use their televisions.

In recent years technology has begun to produce alternatives to cable television. As internet content grows to out weigh what cable TV services can offer. Many people have begun to migrate from cable television to Internet television. (24% in the US, 40% either use Internet TV alone, or a combination of Cable and Internet TV together) Internet TV provides the user with an opportunity to view all their favorite programming, most commercial free, in High Definition and directly to the users television. Internet TV. Internet TV has the potential to replace cable television as the preferred method of home entertainment delivery.

Savings and selection are mentioned as the primary reasons to switch to a Cable TV alternative. The average monthly cable bill in the US is between one-hundred fifty and two-hundred dollars per month. Internet TV in comparison has a one time fee for the home component and no additional monthly viewing fees. Users who wish to use services like Netflix and Blockbuster online may now watch movies directly on their HD television. Internet TV does not bypass legal means of content delivery, you must still pay the fees associated licensing fee for movie rental sites like Netflix and Blockbuster.

Free Internet TV content currently licensed for viewing online in high definition. (Short list) All programming from the major television networks; ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, most cable networks (CNN, E!, etc) also broadcast their programming online for free. Some advance the broadcasts online before airing on their cable networks. Hulu, Fancast and Spreety are among a few providers available who collect all the legal content in one place for easy viewing by the user.

Join the Internet TV Revolution.
What is WhiteHatt?

1. What is Public Speaking Fear?

And what are its causes?

­­Public Speaking Fear can be paralyzing… Standing in front of a crowd… You probably know the feeling. You can work weeks, learn the materials, prepare the presentation. You try to ignore the anxiety. And then it’s the moment… You go to the stand… Your throat is dry, you begin to stutter… Your brain feels empty.

What is happening to you? This frustrating phenomenon is called Public Speaking Fear.

You are not the only one to suffer from this fear, or phobia. In fact, According to recent studies, about 40 percent of the population, were found to have a serious fear of public speaking. Almost everyone has some degree of fear regarding public speaking.

Whether it is in front of 10 people or a full auditorium, the fear of public speaking seems to affect nearly everyone at one point or another. Even the most professional public speakers can become nervous before an important speech.

This impacts of this anxiety vary from just ‘not being your best’ during the speech,,to not being able to even begin the speech, and in some cases even suffering from horrors and general feeling of incompetence.

Symptoms of this fear might be:

• Rapid heartbeats
• Shaky hands
• Shortness of breath
• Blank mind
• Feel of freezing
• Sweaty hands
• Dizziness

Although you might hear and read about various reasons and factor that cause and affect Public Speaking Fear, I will divide the causes of this “fear” into 2 categories: Historically-based and Experience-based.

1.1 Historically-based factors

Imagine human beings in past times, when we used to live in small tribes. Those times encoded in us all kinds of fears, that helped humans survive. A human tribe would include between 30-100 members, usually with a single (male) leader. This leader was vital for the survival of the tribe and used to be the authority. Now imagine that one simple member of the tribe would arrange a speech in front of the tribe. The leader of the tribe would see this as an attempt to gain authority over the tribe. A common penalty for that could be death.

Public speaking used to be extremely dangerous in the past.

This historical reason is considered according to researches as the main reason why we are so afraid of public speaking.

There is a branch of psychology called “Evolutional Psychology”, which discusses matters like this. The most important thing that you should remember is that a major cause for your fear is irrational. You can’t explain it with the terms of our world. Only imagining the world as it was 10,000 years ago carries the real answer.

1.2 Experience-based factors

Now, in addition to the psychological reasons that cause this fear of public speaking, there are of course also factors from you own life that create it.

The way we use language in our life is called “conversation”, because when we speak, we do it with someone else. Our neurological system is so used to having conversations, that we just don’t pay attention to all the internal processes that happen when we’re speaking. Because it’s done automatically, we can focus our whole attention on the conversation itself.

Now, every new and unknown activity that we try to do, will seem intimidating, just because we are not experienced enough. We don’t know how to use our voice. We don’t know how to look at the people, how to stand, how to move our hands. We are even not used to the specific language patterns that we need to use during speech – and there is a different way to use language during a speech.

Another aspect of experience-based causes is a fear, caused by our past experiences. An embarrassing or painful experience while speaking to a group in the past can also create a fear.

So, let’s summarize so far. Public Speaking fear is this negative feeling that causes us not to be at our best during public speaking. It might even prevent us from making the speech at first place. We’ve discussed 2 main reasons for this fear. The first is based on our past as human beings, and that is the reason why we are sometimes so terrified about public speaking. The second reason is based on our own experiences of the world, that also create fears and beliefs.

1.3 Rational and irrational fears

Before moving on to dealing with public speaking fear, we need to understand how to view our fear.

Rational fears are fears that we can explain rationally, and the fear is of something that could cause real harm (physically or emotionally).

In general, examples of rational fears include:

• Dangerous people (a person holding a knife, murderer etc.)
• Dangerous situations (fire, earthquake, floods etc.)
• Dangerous activities (Skiing, walking on a rope etc.)

Now, we can see that fear of some activities is considered rational, because it consists of real danger. Some fears are good to have. The fear itself is something positive, it helps us survive.

Irrational fears, on the other side, are fears that don’t help us survive, but on the contrary, prevent us of being our best.

For example, if we were bitten by a dog once, we might get the fear of dogs for our whole life. If someone frightened us during a dark night, we might get a fear of darkness.

As you can see, our mechanism of fear in not perfect, and we need to do some work to deal with our fears.

Rational fears should be kept and maybe even encouraged. Irrational fears, instead of preventing harm, in many cases can cause us harm. It’s normal to try and overcome irrational fears.

1.4 Is fear of Public Speaking rational or not?

Can public speaking harm you? As we said above, in past times, public speaking could definitely cause you harm. It used to be extremely rational to be afraid. Because this fear was rational for hundreds of thousands of years, it was delivered to us during what we call “Evolutional Psychology”.

Is Public Speaking fear today is still rational? Well, I could give you some hypothetical examples when public speaking could cause harm. If you speak in front of a hostile crowd, it might cause you emotional fear. If you’re a gangster and you try to speak in front of your gang members, you might event have physical harm.

However, in most cases, public speaking is completely harmless. There is no rational reason to be afraid of speaking in front of your class members; and what about presenting your new product in front of your clients?

Therefore, in today’s world, Public Speaking is completely irrational.

2. In short, How to overcome the fear?

In order to overcome the fear of public speaking, it’s vital to understand, remember, and believe, that the fear is irrational.

In this manual, we will discuss 2 approaches to overcoming the fear:

Subconscious- working on the processes that happen in our brain that we are not aware of, our belief system, etc. Those methods are meant to reduce or even completely abolish the fear.

Techniques- Specific techniques and methods to help you with public speaking, even if you still have the fear.

To tell the truth, if you just use techniques, get more experience, try to find the confidence and so – you will get better. You will desensitize your fear. However, every time, before a speech, you will still feel the fear. It will be weaker, but it will be always there.

Imagine that your mind is a computer. A very complicated one, but yet a computer. It runs so many programs that we just can’t count. Some of them are in our awareness – they are conscious processes. The rest, most of the processes, are out of our awareness – they are subconscious processes.

Now, when you go public speaking, there are 2 opposite processes in your head. The first one is positive, and tells you : “Go, give a speech”, and the second one is negative, it tells you “No, you cant”.

Working to eliminate the fear, can be done! It can be done using methods to eliminate fear. Because it’s a subconscious process (unless you consciously choose to be afraid…), it involves dealing with your subconscious mind.

In the next chapter, I’ll discuss the common methods. They include: Hypnosis, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic-Programming) and working on you belief system.

The other way, that will not eliminate the fear but will help you deal with it, is using learning techniques. It works on the positive side, I makes you better in public speaking, and therefore deal better with the fear. I will never eliminate the fear, but it will make it easier to do public speaking.

Personally, I recommend that you use it in addition to working on the subconscious side. Just learning the techniques will never make you speak at your best, and every speech will continue to be an effort.

3. Working on your subconscious mind

3.1 Using NLP Techniques

Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) is a behavioral technology, a set of guiding principles, attitudes, and techniques about real-life behavior.

It allows you to change, adopt or eliminate behaviors, as you desire, and gives you the ability to choose your mental, emotional, and physical states of well-being.

I will not tell you here too much about NLP, because it’s a complete theory. Personally, I prefer NLP to work on subconscious processes, mainly because unlike other methods that I will discuss in the book, NLP can be learned and used by almost everyone. There is no need to understand psychology or medicine.

According to NLP, our mind is in some way like a computer. It has all kinds of programs running. Although many of them are unconscious (fear, for example), it teaches us methods to eliminate or at least weaken those processes, if we want to.

What are these processes? Our mind works with 3 senses (we actualy have 5, but only 3 of them are really important) – visual (eyes), auditory (ears), or kinesthetic (feelings). Every person primarily uses just one of the 3 during processes.

Some people are visual – they see the world through their eyes. Others are auditory, they mainly use their ears to hear voices. And other people are mainly kinesthetic, they understand the world through feelings.

For example, if you are a visual person, this means that you see the world mainly through your eyes. Therefore, there is a visual process (or processes) that create the fear of public speaking inside you.

Now, I’ll tell you a quick story about a friend of mine. He used to have a serious fear of public speaking. His hands would shake, his voice would change, his heart beat would skyrocket. When I tried to check with him what caused the fear, he told me that he would visualize himself giving a bad speech.

In those visual pictures, he saw people laughing at him, He saw himself standing without remembering what to say, etc. He couldn’t control those pictures. He couldn’t make them disappear.

What is happening? His mind is kind of “screening” a movie in his head. Do you remember a really scary movie that you saw? There were moments in that movie that you really felt afraid? Even though it was just a movie and you knew it was just a movie?

The same thing happened with my friend. What created the fear was the movie, the pictures. Our subconscious mind reacts the same way whether the movie is a reality or not.

Traditional psychology tries to find the “roots” of the fear. It tries to see what past effects created it. Instead, NLP provides an easy and short treatment. As we discussed in the first chapter, the reason might be even in our past as humans, so we can’t eliminate the root.

So, let’s see how we deal with our fear.

For visual people

If you’re a visual person, you probably have a movie running in your head. Try to understand what exact movie you see:

- is it black and white? Or do you see colors?

- is it smooth or not?

- is it going in slow motion, or quickly?

- do you see it in details?

- do you see it from a first position or third position?

Let’s go back to my friend’s example:

He used to see himself making a speech, and he saw people in the crowd laughing. he saw himself embarrassed…

Now, I asked him to sit silently in front of me, and we began understanding together what exactly he saw.

When he saw himself standing and giving a speech, it was from his own eyes, what we call “1st position”. He saw it black and white, and in great detail. He could see faces in the crowd; he could exactly understand what was happening.

When you see this movie running again and again in your head, your mind creates a great fear. Like a movie, even if you know it’s just a movie, it still creates the same effect.

A great basis in NLP is that you can’t fight your thought. You can’t just say: “No! I’m not afraid”. Your mind won’t accept it and you will continue seeing the movie.

However, what you can do is to make changes in the movie, add effects, even change angles. It might sound fantasy to you, but it’s possible.

So, what I did next is that I told him to change the movie into a 3rd position. I told him to see the movie as if he was standing near the scene, from the side.

That way, he was seeing himself there, and he saw the crowd. Now, I told him to make the movie a bit in a distance from him, As if he sees it on a television. I told him to begin moving the movie away from him, so that this “television” looks far away from him. Now, he saw himself somewhere in a great distance. He couldn’t see details anymore, because the picture was so far…

Do you understand what we did here? We can’t fight the movie, but we can do manipulations. Now, the movie was much less frightening. Almost like some pale thought…

The next time he was about to do a public speech, I told him this process again. After a few times, this movie didn’t disturb him anymore. The fear was almost gone.

When he now goes to speak, he can concentrate on the words, on the message. The fear is gone.

For visual people, NLP gives us a quick solution, and that is to make the visual process less dominant and less clear. Make it something in the distance that doesn’t bother you.

What if you are Auditory?

For auditory people

So, now that we understand how to deal with public speaking fear for visual people, you may ask the question – what if I’m an auditory person?

Well, for auditory people, we need to weaken the auditory process that creates the fear. What is that auditory process? It’s usually a sound or a voice. For example, you might be telling yourself: “No, I can’t do that…” or “Those people are going to laugh at me…”, or you might hear the people laughing, or shouting at you.

We can’t make the sound “smaller” as we did with the visual process, but we still can make it weaker. There are a few options. The one I will discuss here is making some differences in the voice: Instead of hearing it in its regular way, make it sound funny. Give it a childish voice, for example. I also like giving it a sex-flirting voice.

When you convert the voice to a different way, it doesn’t sound frightening anymore. On the contrary, you might find yourself laughing and smiling instead! Try this now, make a serious, frightening voice inside you, sound funny, childish or sexy.

How can you learn more of NLP

We only discussed some examples of using NLP to overcome fear. There are of course some more ways – for example, you can add effects to your internal movies, you can add background music and whatever you find useful in overcoming those internal processes that create your fear.

However, NLP can be used in many other ways and techniques to really improve you skills. You can become a better communicator, better lover, increase you income, be more efficient. It’s a set of techniques and methods to improve your life in general, and allow you to control your mind effectively.

If we are discussing Public Speaking, you can use NLP to make you message more clear, understood and acceptable by people.

NLP was created in the recent decades, and it’s still under development. I personally suggest that you find time to learn more of it. You can check our page to discover how we suggest to learn NLP.

3.2 Belief Systems

In many cases, our fear is caused by our belief system. Belief is stronger than knowledge, and our perception of the world is actually created according to our belief system.

Belief is usually something we can’t really prove. Belief in god is a good example, but almost all beliefs we have in life are not absolute.

There are certain beliefs that we can’t prove they are true or not. However, we CAN tell if they benefit us or not – or whether they help you achieve your goals.

When regarding Public Speaking Fear, there are a few a beliefs that might cause the fear. According to studies, the most common belief that directly causes the fear is the following:

Limiting Belief- “It is normal to have a fear or anxiety of Public Speaking”.

Think to yourself… Do you accept this? Do you believe that it’s normal, that it’s OK to have a fear of public speaking?

You probably do.

Why? Probably because of your own experience, because that is what society teaches.

However – are you sure it’s “Normal” to be afraid? Why? It’s just your belief. And that belief is actually causing the fear – because you kind of expect it.

It will be much more empowering to change this belief. Instead, you should understand that there is nothing “Normal” in public speaking fear. You know it’s an irrational fear. Nothing is Normal here.

Empowering Belief- “Public speaking makes me feel relaxed and energetic”.

Do you understand how changing your belief changes the way you respond and view life? Instead of believing that you are supposed to be afraid – you choose an empowering belief.

Is this empowering belief “True”? Many people around the world don’t have any fear of public speaking. Instead – they enjoy it. You can choose what to believe. I personally recommend you to choose the empowering one.

Here are some more beliefs that you should consider loosing:

“It’s good to be nervous”- What the hell? Why is that good? It’s good to be relaxed. That’s a totally limiting belief.

“Public Speaking is something you are born with, or not”- A terrible belief that unfortunately many people possess, not only regarding public speaking. Almost every skill can be learnt and improved. This belief only prevents you from improving. Nobody was born as a public speaker.

“Public speaking fear is something you can’t overcome”-I can give you so many live examples (including me) of people who successfully overcame public speaking fear.

“Your audience wants you to fail”- On the contrary, because most of the people are afraid to death of public speaking and many of them have tried it before, they will only appreciate your “courage” to stand and speak. People came to hear you – they want you to succeed.

A great way to succeed in life is by building an empowering belief system. The secret is understanding that you can CHOOSE what to believe. If this makes you feel interested, I suggest that you read my articles regarding belief systems.

3.3 Hypnosis

Hypnosis is considered a powerful tool to help with overcoming fears. It works directly with the subconscious mind, making the right “changes” to teach your mind not to be afraid.

Hypnosis can be done either with a therapist, or as it becomes common today, using an audio or a video that makes a similar job.

Hypnosis can be a good tool, but the problem that I have with Hypnosis is the fact that you don’t really know and can’t control over what the treatment is about.

Unlike NLP, you can’t do it alone and you can’t choose and decide what exact treatment to make.

On the other hand, you can feel free and not really care about learning and mastering technique. You just get the treatment, never care what it really does. If it works – you don’t have the fear anymore. For some people – this is the perfect solution.

If that sounds and feels good for you, you can check my review of available products (some of them are totally free).

4. External work – dealing with the fear effectively

In the previous chapter, discussed methods how to overcome and eliminate fear of public speaking.

Therefore, there is no use for this chapter, is there? Well, maybe there is…

• Even If you use the techniques we discussed (As I said, I recommend NLP), you might still have some public speaking fear.
• Many people can’t accept the fact that self-work can eliminate fear. I don’t agree, but I can honor their belief. If you believe that the way to make achievements is via hard work, then I accept that and will show you ways to practice in order to deal with the fear.

In this chapter, I will give you tips to quickly help you dealing with the fear. I will divide them into 2 categories: What to do before the speech; and what to do during the speech.

Remember – Practice makes Perfect. As you implement what I tell you here, you’ll improve, sometimes even rather rapidly. However – You Still Need Practice.

Unlike other guides, I will not give you a full list of tips. No one can’t use so many. Just the best ones.

4.1 What to do before the speech

You don’t have to be perfect

People are afraid of public speaking because they fear of mistakes during the speech. However, anxiety over mistakes only makes it more likely that mistakes will occur.

The best way to deal with mistakes is to accecpt the fact that youare not perfect, and mistakes are supposed to happen. Now, instead of being afraid, you can use mistakes to get feedback for future improvement.

Visualize the positive outcome

A good reason for which we are so anxious before the speech is because we visualize the speech, presuming that something terrible will happen. We may even do this subconsciously.

So, a good way to deal with our anxiety is to visualize the speech, this time in a positive way. Imagine the moments before the speech, how you feel secure and prepared. How you move slowly toward the podium. How you begin the speech. Try to hear your own words.

Visualizing will work on you internal fears and signal to your brain that everything is under control.

Put the past behind

Some people have speech anxiety because of past events. It could be even some humiliating event in the past. The way to deal with such incidents is the following:

If you can learn from it and improve – do it. If you can’t, just forget about it and focus on the future.

Use mistakes to learn and improve, not to increase your fears.

Practice your voice and tonality

Speaking involves using your voice. If you use your voice and practice it before the speech, you will be used to speaking and will feel more confident about how your voice sounds.

Don’t write a speech

One of the worst things you could do is to write a full speech. It will make you concentrated on the written words instead of on the speech.

Instead – only write highlights, know what your speech is about and what your main messages are.

This way, the page you are holding will only be a guidance, and you will be concentrated on the speech.

4.2 What to do during the speech

Remember to breath

Anxiety tightens the muscles in the chest and throat. With a restricted airway and without enough oxygen, your voice can come out as a squeak. Deep breathing, on the other hand, sends oxygen to the lungs and brain and expands the throat and chest, promoting relaxation. As you approach the platform, take a deep breath and relax. It will also improve your thinking processes. During the speech, whenever you feel anxious – remember to take a deep breath – It will immediately make you calmer.

Focus on friendly faces

During the speech, you might look at the crowd and see them as a large group of people. That may confuse you. Instead, focus on specific faces, you should prefer the friendly ones. This way your subconscious mind will feel as if you are having a conversation with a specific person. During the speech, move your eyes slowly and look at different people. It will also make the audience feel that you are talking with them instead of just giving a speech

Make Stops

Making a stop sounds something hard to do? You stop speaking, making a silent pause.

That is just great! It makes you look relaxed and confident, and gives you time to relax and remember exactly what you wanted to say.

Speak slowly

Speaking quickly and swallowing words is a mistake done by many speakers. It might be because you want to finish your words and have it all over fast. It might also be because you don’t want to be interrupted by the crowed if there is a pause. Your quick heart bit is also a factor.

Anyway – speaking rapidly just makes you more anxious and gives you less time to think. Just speak S-L-O-W-L-Y. Relax, give yourself the time.

5. What to do next?

In this article, I gave you the reasons and factors that cause your Public Speaking Anxiety. I showed you the options available to deal with it.

We discussed methods to eliminate or at least weaken the fear and anxiety that are created in our subconscious mind.

To eliminate fear, I personally suggest that you learn NLP. That is a set of techniques and skills to work on your mind and develop excellence. It also gives you control and full understanding of what you are doing (Unlike psychological treatment or hypnosis).

I gave you the basics of how to use NLP to eliminate your fears. To be really perfect and find many more techniques – I suggest that you learn and master NLP.

In addition, we discussed belief systems and hypnosis.

For those of us who prefer the “hard work”, I gave my tips on what to do before and during the speech to effectively deal with you anxiety.

If you want more guidance, I personally recommend you a book that was written by Benjamin van Spijck. It’s called “Overcoming the fear of public speaking”. It’s written as a 21-days tutorial and will guide you step-by-step to eliminate the fear.

I wish you all the best, hope that you find the way to get rid of this frustrating feeling of fear and anxiety forever.

If you liked my article, you can get it in PDF and read more on my website:

http://www.bebetterarticles.com/overcoming-fear-of-public-speaking/

Tom Slavoda.

To exasperate means to “stir up”. To frustrate, vex, annoy or make angry. There might be battles, children with parents; there might be struggles within. If we find that we are warring with our children – fighting battles with them on the home front, or if we see signs of unhappiness, or difficulty, we might discover that one or more of these 30 Ways is the cause:

1. Physical Abuse

Nobody would argue that harsh physical abuse is a one way ticket to a broken child, but physical abuse is so much broader. It ranges in anything from violent beating to repeated hitting. Parental authority should never be abusive. No child should ever be subjected to cruel punishment. Physical violence has no place in the family. A parent needs to ask themselves what their discipline accomplishes and be concerned about the after affects. No child should feel frightened or abandoned, or that they are inherently wicked.

There is a very strong argument that says that there should never be a raised hand to a child – be it a spanking, a caning, use of the hair-brush or slipper.

Being sent to boarding school, I was subjected to corporal punishment, several times subjected to the cane and leather strap. There are some who have the, “it didn’t do me any harm” view, but I can not subscribe to that. It did me a lot of harm, affecting my self-esteem and my view of authority. I harboured feelings of resentment and revenge. In my young mind I wouldn’t have cared if some of those masters had met an untimely demise. This is not a feeling I would want any child to have to deal with.

2. Verbal Abuse

Words Are Powerful. The written word carries much weight, but the spoken word is extremely powerful. Words can embolden and strengthen – but words can also cut like knives. When there is little thought given to how words might affect a child, we could be in danger of saying things which could harm our young ones. Given the more definitive list of fractious words that gain entry to these 30 Ways, this point is somewhat broader. It might include the snarled “Come on!” to the child lagging behind, the hissed “Shut up!” to a child who is too loud for comfort. The gradual wearing down of a little one’s spirit, the relentless chip, chip, chipping away at their self-esteem. The Chinese speak of Death By A Thousand Cuts, and verbal abuse in all its forms could result in the decline of out children’s self worth and desire.

I wonder whether this would include words said in jest, or teasing. If a young child declares, “I want to be a surgeon,” is she met with, “You can’t even cut the bread straight. Did you not see the mess you made of the play dough?” Or the young boy who dreams, “I want to be a fireman!” Is he ribbed, “But you can’t even hit the toilet!” Surely these would be examples of taking away a child’s hopes and dreams, and that is not something we, as parents, would want to do.

Perhaps it is best if jokes are left in the playground. A child needs to return home to a safe haven, knowing that everything said at school can be taken light-heartedly because, at least at home, Mum and Dad believe in me.

In summary: A parent who uses abusive and hurtful speech may raise an angry child, who in turn may grow up to become an adult full of rage. I don’t think anyone would argue that children who are continually screamed at and subjected to psychological indignities, emotionally battered and constantly criticized are having their spirit destroyed.

3. Name-calling

Surely it would be best for parents to refrain from calling their children names. Idiot, dolt, clot, chump, stupid and names of this sort are the mental equivalent of water torture. It might be funny to begin with, but before long it begins to irritate, then aggravate, then anger. I also wonder whether some terms of endearment might be guarded against. Names that we think of as affectionate, might be too much for children to bear. Prince or Princess – more especially, “My Prince/Princess” – terms that might become a habit for us, can begin to irk. I said to my daughter, “Hey, Gorgeous,” and, at two-and-a-bit, she replied, “I’m not gorgeous.” For me, I had to take that seriously, not question it, or argue it, just cut back or refrain.

It made me think that we need to be careful of terms that we understand, but are alien to our children, or terms that might be misunderstood. I still remember being called “pointy-head”. I have lived with it for years. Only recently I looked it up, and it discovered that it’s a reference to being intelligent. However, I know that it was one of those witty reverse-name type things, like when you call a tall child “Titch”. And even if it wasn’t, it doesn’t alter my perception of it. I wonder why a person should have to live with something as simple as name-calling for so long? It is evident to me that the names we call our children – even when we stop using them, can very easily be picked up and continued by them.

4. Labeling

Name-calling can easily turn into labeling. We should not underestimate the power of our words. Children may call each other “stupid” and know it is a joke, but when your mother, father or teacher calls you stupid, then you think it’s true because they ought to know. Labeling a child’s personality could be a factor in a teenager’s low self-esteem, depression and non-communication.

Is our child “lazy”, or “clumsy”, “shy”, or “sensitive”? Have we considered that we could be prompting a self-fulfilling prophecy? If we see our child in a particular role, then we could be inviting the danger of the child adopting the role by default

We might not label them to their face – a tragedy of great proportions – but if we see our child in that role, privately labeling them in some way, then it will make itself known in one way or another. Our child will pick up the vibes, the signals, and and this could cause them to begin to wilt under the branding.

5. Sarcasm

It has been called a sound barrier to learning. The trouble with sarcasm is its invitation to a stinging comeback. It might stir children to a preoccupation with revenge fantasies. There is confusion, resentment, a feeling of being made fun of. Are any of these mental challenges welcome in a family home?

6. Nagging

The connection has been made that parents who habitually make mountains out of molehills, nagging their children mercilessly about trivial matters, are inevitably going to have children who not only lie but are good at it. Habitual, long-winded, or cruel nagging rarely stops the children from doing the things they’re being nagged about. It could, however, stop the children from taking responsibility for their own actions.

This might include the relentless words of warning – every pen or pencil picked up is accompanied with the reminder not to write on walls, or not to run with it. Every plug socket is dangerous, every radiator and oven is hot, every step taken is with a charge to “be careful”. Perhaps, all a child is thinking is “nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag, nag.”

If we have a nagging suspicion that we are nagging – we probably are.

7. Threats and Bribery

“If…then…”, “Wait ’til your father gets home.” Predictions on how a child will turn out if they pursue a certain course. “You’ll never get anywhere with grades like that.” “You’ll never if you…”, “If you carry on behaving like that you’ll end up in prison.” Promising a child a beating or some other punishment. Counting – to whatever number – is perceived as a threat. Threats are very likely to be met with the defiant retort – spoken or not – “Let’s see you try.”

Bribery is the promise of some reward if something is accomplished. Sweets for good behaviour. The problem with this could be the child only doing something because of the promise of reward. The added danger of “If…” is the message it sends: “I don’t think you can.” This might, in turn, lead to a child’s doubting their own abilities.

Above all, a child should never be threatened with abandonment. It can be too easy to let slip, “Okay, well you stay here then. We’re going.” Or jokingly, “Right, I’m calling the removal people, and they will come and take you away.” Threats like this unnecessarily draw on a child’s fear of being abandoned.

8. Blaming and Accusing

“You’re always answering back”, “you never listen”, “You are a real embarrassment to me.” Phrases like these could encourage an atmosphere of blame and accusation. They focus on the individual, rather than the problem to be addressed.

Blaming and accusing would also include those questions which could be described as The Invitation To Lie: The parent knows the answer to something, yet they ask their child about it to see what answer they get. It can be confusing and irritating for a young one to be faced with this no-win situation. “Who did it?” is also a question which rarely has a satisfactory outcome.

9. Fault-finding, Being Overly Critical

When our child makes an effort at something, do we first point out the flaws? When the child puts on their own shoes: “Oh, you’ve got them on the wrong feet.” Every defect must be highlighted. The child successfully feeding themselves is told, “Look at you, you’ve got it all down your front, you messy little thing.” The result could be children who are frightened of taking any kind of spontaneous action, helpful included, because they worry that their parents will find some fault in what they have done. They might be criticized, or even punished. Criticism by parents might lead to deep-seated insecurity, or play a part in developing a child’s shyness.

10. Rules, Rules, and More Rules

Do we have rules for everything? Rules which then have to be adhered to, repeated and barked. Rules which tie down and constrain. Rules which have to be explained and numbered. Rules which make living at home seem like living under a dictatorship, under the family society. Already I feel hemmed in and unable to breath. At the same time, children need boundaries, which means that their parents need to set rules and sometimes enforce these rules by discipline. Even so, children must be helped progressively to see the underlying reason for these rules: their parents love them.

11. Praise

It seems as though praise of any kind would be a good thing. However, broad, unspecific praise – “You are such a good boy”, “You are always so kind to your sister” – could result in tension and misbehaviour. A child may not be able to accept this kind of praise because his own idea of himself is quite different. Try it on yourself: “You’re a great father!” How do you deal with that? You didn’t feel so great when you snubbed your child because you wanted to complete some task, or you unthinkingly called him a name. And you know it probably won’t be the last time you do it. Now imagine a child trying to cope with those feelings.

On the other hand, a lack of praise can also lead to insecurity. Sometimes praising in a new way, or praising at all, can take a conscious re-education of the way we parents think and speak. We have to find a more insightful method of praise, one which draws attention to the child’s accomplishments, rather than his personality.

12. Comparing

Comparing to a sibling. Comparing to others at school. Comparing to ourselves as parents. The danger with making comparisons is that it can lead to competition, and experience tells us that intense competition can lead to physical symptoms, emotional troubles, anxiety and hostility. As parents, we want our homes to be havens from this kind of stress.

13. Ignoring Uniqueness

Ignoring uniqueness is not the same as comparing, but it is closely allied with it. It differs, though, in object. Wise parents likewise find ways to express appreciation for each child’s unique qualities, abilities, and accomplishments.

14. Not Respecting Their Struggle

One way to exasperate children is to fail to understand their daily problems and tests.

Growing up is hard work, learning how to do things, how to cope. When parents express how easy certain tasks are – even the ones easy for us, like buttoning a coat, or getting the lid off something – it can be exasperating for children. Homework is not that easy, learning to play the piano or guitar is not that easy.

15. Not Listening

Communication is a two-way discussion. Parents cannot really get to know their children’s needs unless they listen to them. If parents constantly tell children what to do without encouraging them to express themselves, their children may become less and less willing to communicate.

16. Being unreasonable

Are we flexible? Open to discussion? Can we be reasoned with, so that if a child feels that something is unfair, we are approachable and can reason on a matter, perhaps even changing our mind or making an exception to a rule. The inability to do this – the “my way or the highway” approach on all matters – is likely to cause warfare and rebellion in the house.

17. Silent Treatment

Sometimes we need to be silent. Sometimes we feel angry about something, and need moments of silence to collect our thoughts, or even to let the young child recognise that what they have said or done is unacceptable – it has caused a grievance. The danger comes when we use silence as a weapon. Filling the house with an unsettling atmosphere of power and fear.

18. Quick to Anger

Do we fly off the handle quickly? Are the children scared to do anything because of our wrath? Do they need to tiptoe around us lest they set us off?

19. Withholding Independence

Right from the start children naturally desire more independence. This manifests itself from a very early age – putting on their own shoes, taking off their coat, which may be painfully slow to the adult trying to get out the door. However, when a child is often prevented from engaging in activities and assuming responsibilities for which they are ready, this can lead to frustration and resentment

20. Unrealistically High Standards

Being constantly put down by a parent or being measured by unrealistically high standards can be exasperating for children. The inability to live up to high parental expectations could cause significant loss of self-esteem. Our children need to feel it is safe to come to us when they have failed at something, or when something is making them unhappy.

21. Over-permissiveness

Parents must be fair and set good examples, but children need regulations and discipline. A growing child needs a sense of boundaries and limits. If parents condone wrongdoing in their children, they are bound to lose the children’s respect. As parents, we may later find that we have compromised the line of communication.

22. Lack of Headship

When the father – or other significant adult – lives up to his responsibility, the whole family is drawn closer together and strengthened. When parents give in to children, or rely too much on their child’s giving of love, if they are scared of losing their child’s love and affection, or if they are scared of upsetting them, the child might end up assuming the position of head of the house, “ruling the roost”, as it were. It is a position the child does not want and emotionally cannot handle.

23. Inconsistent Discipline

This can consist of disciple that bears little or no relation to the crime being punished – it might include the naughty step, or naughty chair. It can include meting out discipline for a misdemeanour one time, and then not doing so when the same thing is repeated. It does not mean we cannot listen to our child, and our instincts, and sometimes make an exception.

24. Public Discipline

Punishment by ridicule before friends makes the child downhearted, even hostile. It is embarrassing and annoying for children to be disciplined in front of people, the danger being that it is done for the benefit of onlookers rather than the child. As parents we do not want to be viewed as “letting them get away with it” and this is a moment that can tax our determination not to expose our child to public shame and humiliation.

Demanding good manners in a public forum can be demeaning to children, and an affront – “Say ‘Thank You’ to Auntie (Whoever)” or “What do you say?” Of course, we want our children to be polite, so this is another challenging area for parents.

Chastising children in front of their friends, reminding them about an assignment, finger-wagging, can all be terribly embarrassing for a youngster.

25. Hypocrisy

It is irritating and frustrating for children to be told that they should be kind and considerate, and yet they see their parents argue, gossip, act rudely, or get easily upset. Can they be blamed if they act in the same manner? Children can spot hypocrisy from a long way. They are not so young that they cannot spot double standards in adults. As an example: The grown-up who smokes, but fumes when they discover their child smoking.

26. Self-righteousness

This invitation to battle is closely allied with hypocrisy. How can it fail to be. When we demand certain standards we will soon find ourselves unable to meet them. Self-righteousness shows itself in parents ability to lecture and moralise. Going on and on about something. Needing to appear as if we never do a thing wrong, and yet pointing out wrong-doing in others. A self-righteous attitude may not be demonstrated against our children, but if they hear us speaking in a self-righteous way about others this might have a detrimental effect.

27. Passive Aggression

This emotion can often be seen when we act against our better judgment. Then we have pent up feelings of anger which seep out into our activities. We might say we’ll do something when we don’t feel like it, and then sabotage efforts to get ready. Or allow the irritation to build up within us, until it explodes into something else entirely. A good rule of thumb: We can be a little bit nicer than we feel, but not much.

28. Absenteeism

If we disappear from our children’s lives, if our job routinely takes us away from the family home for days, weeks or months, we cannot be surprised that our children will react negatively. Not only will we exasperate them but we may well undermine their self-worth, making them feel unloved and unlovable.

29. Lack of Self-Control

A lack of self-control is not just seen in an ability to get angry quickly, reacting to the merest hint of wrong-doing. It is not only seen in an overindulgence in alcohol or some other habit. A lack of self-control can be seen in a variety of areas, it manifests itself as a general character trait. Self-control is the ability to say “no” to yourself, to be self-disciplined. The parent who lacks self-control, cannot be surprised if he has a child who resists discipline.

30. Spiritual Neglect

Children are curious. They want answers. At some point, they are going to want answers to the big questions in life: “Who are we? Why are we here? What is the purpose of life?” Parents who avoid these questions, or show that such things are unimportant to them, could find themselves with difficulty at home, especially through the teenage years, when young adults are at their most vulnerable.

Further Reading

Between Parent & Child and Between Parent & Teenager Dr Haim G Ginott

Liberated Parents, Liberated Children and How To Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish.

Rory Sullivan writes Hamelife [http://hamelife.com], a website dedicated to helping parents negotiate the unpredictable waters of parent-child communication. With the 30 Ways at its heart, Hamelife encourages parents to avoid exasperating their children by embracing empathy, respect, and patience.

Whether working, attending school, or simply in need of temporary childcare services, it is extremely important to find the venues and networks that can make the experience an extremely positive one for everyone involved.

Choose a Center You Can Trust

When considering a home childcare center, there will typically be one or two adults in attendance. It’s best they have a limited number of children, either their own, or those of clients so that your child or children can receive quality attention. Make sure you visibly check and approve their licensing and that home rules and regulations are in place and adhered to by everyone.

Traditional daycare centers are usually managed by multiple teachers and will take in children of all ages. These venues are registered by the state. The same level of scrutiny should apply to these venues as a home childcare business.

Make a Thorough Evaluation of Your Network

Familiarizing yourself with the center’s daily routines should always follow your choice of childcare venues. Should you bring snacks for your child or are they provided. Are there special clothes you need to bring? The childcare provider can provide you with a list of the things you should, and shouldn’t bring each day.

It’s not bad to have a back up plan for either of the childcare networks you choose. For simple things like if your get sick, a home childcare center works perfect. On the other hand, a full service center might offer more flexibility to fit your schedule and your family’s needs.

Interview Multiple Providers

Your research will no doubt reveal that childcare centers approach their rules differently. Some will have strict rules while others may not, such as flexibility in scheduling. Other childcare centers may have a more structured approach when it comes to education. So, it becomes extremely beneficial to examine as many options as possible.

Evaluate a Center with an Open Mind

Look closely at the staff and how well they treat the children. Do you observe a lot of patience and flexibility in their approach? Ask yourself if the center will be able to meet your child’s emotional and developmental needs.

Does the facility provide safe indoor and outdoor areas along with appropriate equipment? Are the bathrooms sanitary and do they provide areas for changing diapers? Are the rooms designed with bright and engaging colors?

Observe how the tables are made. Do they have rounded corners? Are first aid kits and snacks available for the children? Are cleaning material and medicines out of the reach of the children?

There are a thousand variables to consider. Knowing your child is being well taken care of by qualified professionals who have received proper early childcare training can go a long way in making sure you start and end your day with peace of mind.

Colin McLean writes about early childcare training and programs for Everest College. Find out how a quality education can help put you on the path to success.

It’s that time of year to start planning your child’s adventure to summer camp. You go to websites to obtain summer camp information and your head starts to spin. There are so many choices out there, that you really have to do your homework. You need to ask yourself and your child many questions. What do you like to do? Is there anything of interest that you would like to know more about or learn something new? Do you want to go to a sports camp or an adventure camp? These are just some of the questions you will have to answer.

Some of the types of camps your child might attend are listed below with a brief description to give you some kind of idea what is out there and then giving you and your child some ideas of questions to ask yourself, what does my child want to do and which camp will my child get the most out of.

Sports Camps:

If you child is very athletic, this might be an excellent choice of summer camp. This type of summer camp will focus on sports. There are also summer camps that focus on one particular sport. Most if not all NFL teams have a summer camp. If you son is an avid football player this might be the camp for him. They will also have the opportunity to meet some of the NFL players.

Academic Camps:

If you child is more of an academic achiever this might be the summer camp for them. If you child loves to learn, there will be plenty of opportunity at these types of summer camps. The summer camps range from Archaeology to Astronomy, Biology to Business, Math, Marine Science, Geology, Robotics and Science. This is just a short listing on some of the academic camps. What ever your child’s interest, be rest assured that there will be a camp available.

Art Camps:

If your child is more of the artistic type, an art camp might be the right summer camp for them. These types of summer camps can cover anything from, Liberal Arts, Computer Arts, Performing Arts, Dance, Photography and Music. These are just some examples of what is all out there.

Adventure Camps:

If you child is the outdoor adventure type, this might be the camp for them. These types of camps will have hiking, rock climbing, kayaking and canoeing, scuba diving and wilderness adventures. So if your child is the outdoor enthusiast, this would probably be the best choice for them.

Special Interest Camps:

These types of summer camps consist of anything from circus camps, cooking camps, farming, fitness, magic, space & aviation, yoga or stunts. So if you child is interested in these types of activities, do a search on the internet to find specific summer camps that cater to these types of activities. The suggestions given here are just a few examples of what is all out there for Special summer camps

Special Needs Camps:

There is such a wide range of summer camps in this area. What ever your child’s special needs are, there is a summer camp available to them.

I hope this gives you some idea of what kind of summer camps there are available for your child. It is a good idea for the both of you to sit down and discuss what your child’s interests are, what they would like to do or learn and how long they would like to attend a summer camp. If you child is smaller they might not want to be away from home as long as an older child. The main idea of summer camp is that your child come home with a feeling of having a wonderful time, having learned new things with having so much fun that they didn’t really realize they learned something new.

Check out Dean’s summer camp themes website

Are you looking to rent sports cars? Do you know that there are several options to get into a sports vehicle. Now you can discover what you need to get into a sports car. Join me as we take a look.

There are several ways to get into a sports car. Here they are, and then we will get into detail:

* Buying A Sports Car

* Joint Ownership

* Renting Sports Cars

* Buying A Sports Car

Buying a sports vehicle is the first option. This can be a great idea, especially if you can afford it. Afford it, the next option is to get a kit car. These are great ways to get into a great looking sports car for much cheaper!

For many though buying a sports vehicle is the best. One option if you don’t have all the cash in one go, is to buy on finance. A car loan is a great way to get the car you want.

* Joint Ownership

Another option is joint ownership. This can be a great idea especially if you are flexible. If you need the car today, it might be a problem!

What group ownership is, is that it allows several people to own the car. The result is that the group decides when they need the car, and each has the car equally throughout the time of owning the car.

This can be a great way to get a sports vehicle and not have to worry about if you can come up with the entire cost. For some it means getting into a top sports car easily, though this can be a problem, especially if you all want the car on the same dates!

* Renting Sports Cars

What is the other option? Rent a sports car! Renting is always great because you don’t have to worry about buying and you don’t have to worry about having to make sure the car is available when you need it. Renting allows you to get into the car, and if one place hasn’t got it, somewhere else has.

For a minimal fee, you can be in the front seat of the latest and greatest. Many people choose this option.

To find the latest and greatest sports cars for rental check out sports car rental and rent exotic cars and find them at the most amazing and affordable prices!

What is your career? Forget about how you define this to others for now, and just think for a bit about how you define your career to yourself. What does it mean to you to have a career? Is it just your job? Is it something you do to make a living? Is it what you do for money? Is it your work?

Most people would define a career as more than a job. Above and beyond a job, a career is a long-term pattern of work, usually across multiple jobs. A career implies professional development to build skill over a period of time, where one moves from novice to expert within a particular field. And lastly, I would argue that a career must be consciously chosen; even if others exert influence over you, you must still ultimately choose to become a doctor or a lawyer or an accountant. If you didn’t make a conscious choice at some point, I would then say you have a job but not a career.

One of the difficulties I see a lot of people experiencing lately is that they spend the bulk of their days working at a job that isn’t part of a consciously chosen career. Once you graduate from school and enter the work force, you don’t suddenly gain the knowledge of what kind of career to build. Most likely you just focus on getting a job as your first step after school. And you probably have to make this choice in your early 20s. After a decade or two, you’ve established a pattern of work and built up some expertise. But at what point did you stop and say, what is my career going to be?

Sometimes when you ask people what their career is (instead of asking what their job is), the question makes them uncomfortable. Why? Because they think of a career as something intentionally chosen, purposeful, and meaningful, and they don’t see those qualities in their job. Another possibility is that they feel deep down that their real career lies elsewhere.

Just because you’ve been working in a field for many years doesn’t mean you have to turn that pattern of work into your career. The past is the past. You can continue to run the same pattern and follow that same path into the future, but at any time you’re also free to make a total break with the past and turn yourself onto an entirely new career path in the future. Ask yourself if you were starting over from scratch today, fresh out of school, would you still choose the same line of work? If the answer is no, then you only have a job right now, not a career. Your career lies elsewhere.

I went through this process myself last year when I asked myself, “What is my career?” I’ve been developing and publishing computer games since 1994. And that was exactly what I wanted to do when I was 22 years old. Game development was the career I had consciously chosen; I didn’t just fall into it. It took a lot of work to start my own company and build it into a successful business. But at age 33, I had to stop and say that I no longer wanted game development to be my career. I still enjoy it, and I may continue doing a little on the side as a hobby for many years, but I no longer think of it as my career.

And yet, when I looked around for what else I might define as my new career, I was in a quandary. I saw all the assets I’d built in my game development career… and a long list of goals yet to be accomplished. Of course, the real problem was that I was looking to the past and projecting it onto the future. So all I could see on the road ahead was a continuation of the road behind. My solution was to use zero-based thinking… imagining I was starting from scratch again, forgetting the past for a moment, seeing the present moment as something fresh and new that didn’t already have a directional vector assigned to it — it could point in any new direction I gave it.

At the same time I started thinking like this, I also decided to broaden my definition of career. While running my games business, I had been operating with a very 3rd-dimensional view of a career. It was about success, achievement, accomplishment, making a good living, sales, serving customers, etc. At different times my career was that I was a game programmer, a game developer, or a game publisher. Those were the labels I used.

But whereas these kinds of objectives were very motivating to me when I was in my 20s, years later I found them to be far less motivating. Achieving more and succeeding more just wasn’t enough of a motivator by itself. And I’ve seen others fall into the same situation too — the things that motivated them greatly at one point no longer seem all that motivating years later. The motivational strategies that work in your 20s don’t necessarily keep working in your 30s.

The solution I found was to look behind the labels and discover the core of my career. When I looked behind the labels of game programmer, game developer, and game publisher, I saw that the core of my career was entertaining people. That was the real purpose behind what I was doing. And that’s when it made sense to me that this was a very motivating purpose for me in my 20s, but that in my 30s it lost its edge because I had grown to the point in my own life where I felt that entertaining people was no longer the BEST way for me to contribute.

Think about this for a moment. What is the core of your career? What do you contribute? What is the big picture of what you do? If you work for a large company, then how do your actions contribute to some larger purpose? Be honest with yourself. And don’t ignore the role your company plays in your career; your career depends heavily on what you’re contributing down the line. If you truly assign a noble purpose to what you do, that’s great. For example, if you work at a grocery store, you might be inspired by the fact that you help feed people. But don’t force it if you don’t actually believe it. If you feel your contribution is weak or even negative, then admit that to yourself, even if you don’t immediately plan to do anything about it.

Go behind the labels. Don’t stop at definining your career as computer programmer or lawyer or doctor. What are you contributing as a computer programmer? How does your career make a difference in other people’s lives? Is it nothing more than a way for you to make money? As a lawyer do you resolve disputes and spread peace, or do you milk conflict for money? As a doctor do you heal people, or are you just a legal drug pusher? What is the essence of your career right now?

Now when you have your answer, you next have to ask yourself, is this you? Is this truly a career that reflects the best of who you are as a person?

For example, if you see the real purpose behind your current line of work as making a handful of investors wealthier… nothing more noble than that… then is that an accurate reflection of your best contribution? Is that you?

If you already have a career that accurately reflects the best of who you are, that’s wonderful. But if you don’t, then realize that you’re free to change it. If your career as a regional distributor for a major soda manufacturer basically boils down to pushing sugar water to make people fatter, you don’t have to keep it that way.

I think if you realize that your current work doesn’t fit who you are, then you have to make a choice. You have to decide if you deserve having a career that truly suits you. If you don’t feel you deserve it, then you will settle for defining your career in such narrow terms as job, money, paycheck, promotion, boss, coworkers, etc. No one is forcing you to accept that as your definition of career.

On the other hand, you can choose to embrace another definition of career that uses terms like purpose, calling, contribution, meaning, abundance, happiness, fulfillment, etc. This requires a top-down approach. You first think hard about what your purpose here is… what kind of contribution do you want to make with your life? Once you figure that out, then you work down to the level of how to manifest that in terms of the work you do.

And for many people, the seeming impossibility of that manifesting part is paralyzing. This is especially true for men, who usually take their responsibility as breadwinners very seriously. You see yourself logically having two choices: I could stay in my current job, which pays the bills and earns me a good living, or I could go jump into something that fits me better, but I just can’t see how to make money at it. I have a mortgage to pay and a family who depends on me; I can’t do that to them.

The problem though is thinking that these are the only alternatives… thinking that you have to make a choice between money and happiness. That assumption is what causes the paralysis against action. You can also envision the third alternative of having money and happiness together. In fact, that’s actually the most likely outcome. If you don’t currently have a career that is deeply fulfilling to you in the sense that you know you’re contributing in a way that matters, then deep down, you will sabotage yourself from going too far with it. You will always know that you’re on the wrong path for you, and this is going to slap a demotivating slump over everything you try to do in that line of work. You’ll do your job, but you’ll never feel that you’re really living up to your potential. You’ll always have problems with procrastination and weak motivation, and they’ll never be resolved no matter how many time management strategies you attempt. Your job will never feel like a truly satisfying career — it just can’t grow into that because you’ve planted your career tree in bad soil. You’ll always be stuck with a bonsai.

But when you get your career aligned from top to bottom, such that what you’re ultimately contributing is an expression of the best of yourself, the money will come too. You’ll be enjoying what you do so much, and you’ll find your work so fulfilling, that turning it into an income stream won’t be that hard. You’ll find a way to do it. Making money is not at odds with your greater purpose; they can lie on the same path. The more money you make, the greater your ability to contribute.

But most importantly you’ll feel you really deserve all the money you earn. When your career is aligned with the best of who you are, you won’t secretly feel that your continued career success means going farther down the wrong path. You won’t hold back anymore. You’ll want to take your career as far as you can because it’s an expression of who you are. And this will make you far more receptive to all the opportunities that are all around you, financial or otherwise.

But how do you make this transition? Is a leap of faith required? Not really. I don’t think of it as a leap of faith. It’s more of a leap of courage, and it’s a logical kind of courage, not an emotional one. It comes down to making a decision about how important your own happiness and fulfillment are to you. Really, how important is it for you to have meaningful, fulfilling work? Is it OK for you to continue working at a job that doesn’t allow you to contribute the very best of who you are? If you find yourself in such a situation, then your answer is yes — you’ve made it OK for you to tolerate this situation.

But you see… self-actualizing people who successfully make this leap will at some point conclude that it’s definitely not OK. In fact, it’s intolerable. They wake up and say, “Wait a minute here. This is absolutely, totally unacceptable for me to be spending the bulk of my time at a job that isn’t a deeply fulfilling career. I can’t keep doing this. This ends now.”

These people “wake up” by realizing that what’s most important about a career is the high-level view that includes happiness, fulfillment, and living on purpose. Things like money, success, and achievement are a very distant second. But when you work from within the first category, the second category takes care of itself.

Before you’ve had this awakening, you most likely don’t see how that last sentence is possible. And that’s because you don’t understand that it is nothing more than a choice. You have probably chosen to put money above fulfillment in your current line of work. That choice means that you won’t have fulfillment. But it’s not that you can’t have fulfillment — you can choose to change your priorities and act on them at any time. The real choice you made was not to be fulfilled in your current line of work. You bought into the illusion that money is at odds with fulfillment, and that money is the more important of the two, so that is all you see. No matter what job you take, you find this assumption proves true for you.

But once you go through the “waking up” experience and firmly decide to put fulfillment first, you suddenly realize that being fulfilled AND having plenty of money is also a choice that’s available to you. There are countless ways for you to do both; you simply have to permit yourself to see them. You realize that you were the one who chose EITHER-OR instead of AND, while all the time you were totally free to choose AND whenever you wanted.

You set the standards for your career choices. Most likely your current standard ranks fulfillment and meaningful contribution very low in comparison to working on interesting tasks and making sufficient money. But those standards are yours to set. At any point you’re free to say, “Having a deeply meaningful and fulfilling career is an absolute MUST for me. Working for money alone is simply not an option.” And once you make this conscious choice, you WILL begin seeing the opportunities that fit this new standard. But you’ll never even recognize those opportunities as long as it remains OK for you to spend all your work time being unfulfilled.

I want to drive home this point. Having a fulfilling career that earns you plenty of money doesn’t require a leap of faith. It only requires a choice. You just have to wake up one day and tell yourself that you deserve both, and that you won’t settle for anything less. It’s not about finding the right job. A career isn’t something you find; it doesn’t require someone to give you something. You aren’t at the mercy of circumstances. A career is something you create, something you build. It means that the work you do each day is aligned with what you feel to be your purpose. Once you start doing this kind of work, even if for no pay initially, your self-esteem will grow to the point where you’ll become so resourceful and open to new opportunities that you’ll have no trouble making plenty of money from it. However, when you do so, the money won’t be that important. It will just be a resource for you to do more of what you love.

Your life is too precious to waste working only for money or for a purpose that doesn’t inspire you. No one can hold you back from making this decision but you. Especially don’t hide behind your family’s needs. If your family truly loves you, then they need you to be fulfilled and living on purpose far more than anything else. And if you love them, then isn’t your greatest role to serve as a model to them of how to be happy? What would you want for your own children for their careers? And do you want the same for yourself?

Copyright © Steve Pavlina

Steve Pavlina
Personal Development for Smart People
http://www.stevepavlina.com
http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog (blog)
http://www.stevepavlina.com/articles (articles)

Steve is intensely growth-oriented. He trained in martial arts, ran the L.A. Marathon, and graduated from college in three semesters with two degrees. He can juggle, count cards at blackjack, and make damn good guacamole. Steve is also a polyphasic sleeper, sleeping just 2-3 hours per day and only 20 minutes at a time. So chances are good that he’s awake right now.

June is quickly approaching and for most coastal regions the thought of a hurricane begins to creep into our minds.

We become concerned about the safety of our homes, our pets and ourselves.

However, hurricanes are not the only disasters that can confront our well being and that of our pets. Floods, wildfires, tornadoes, riots and terrorists attacks add to the list of things that can happen.

The important thing is to have a plan. Hurricane Katrina was a disaster that displaced not only thousands of people but displaced many animals and unfortunately many died along with their owners. It is said that approximately 44 percent of Hurricane Katrina’s victims were pet owners that would not leave their pets.

Until Katrina hit, our country was not too pet friendly in the light of disasters. Most, if not all, did not allow pets of any kind to be brought to a designated shelter.

Currently many states are now providing shelters for owners and their pets providing they follow certain restrictions. Red Cross shelters however, will not allow pets. It is not their rule, but that of the local health departments. A Red Cross shelter is for the benefit of those who do not have pets, who are afraid of pets or who have allergies to pets.

It is up to “you” the pet owner to check your local facilities and see what shelters will allow pets and what size and kind of pet is allowed.

Planning ahead for yourself and your pet should be at the top of your list of things to do. The problem with advance preparing is that many of us go into the “denial mode.” We tell ourselves that whatever the disaster is “it is not going to involve us.” Then it hits and we are not even prepared for ourselves let alone our pets.

So what should a pet owner do? In the following paragraphs I am going to give you some tips on how to keep your cat or dog as safe as humanly possible. The important thing is to remember you need to prepare before a disaster strikes.

A disaster kit should be large enough to contain all the things you normally need for your pet for at least a 7-day period. It should be waterproof (a plastic container with a tight fitting lid) and labeled “disaster supplies cat or dog.”

Food: Pack the brand your pet is used to eating, both canned and dry. Smaller cans are better, as pets in a disrupted setting tend to eat less.

Take along a can opener (even if the cans have lift tabs, some times they do not work.)

Bowls for food and a plastic lid cover for uneaten canned food. Keep uneaten opened cans in a cooler. A spoon or two might be helpful to dish out the canned food.

Water: Enough water for at least a week. Do not keep water in a disaster kit for more than 3 months at a time and store it in a cool dark place.

A water bowl along with a small bottle of bleach, to use if necessary to purify undrinkable water.

Sanitation Supplies: Kitty litter and a litter box for the cat. Take enough litter to use for at least a week along with small plastic bags to dispose of the litter when cleaning out the box.

For your dog take a “pooper scooper” and plastic bags to dispose of the waste.

Cleaning supplies: Paper towels for accidents and to use for cleaning litter box, food dishes, crate or carrier.

Dish soap and some disinfectant for cleaning crates, carriers and assorted possible messes.

Pictures: Have recent photos of your pet, take several or make copies in case you need to do posters if the pet gets lost.

Have a picture of you with your pet, great for identification should the pet get lost and someone finds it. This is very important.

Veterinary Information: You will need the recent records of your pet’s shots and vaccinations.

You need to take a supply of any medication your pet is currently taking.

Write you Vet’s name, address, and phone number on a piece of paper. Include also a note giving permission for another person besides you to get emergency treatment for your pet if you are not available.

Also have your name, all available telephone numbers that can reach you, address and any other info, so if you and your pet get separated you can be found.

Put all this information in a zip lock plastic bag.

Collars, tags and ID: Get your cat used to wearing a break away collar with an ID tag on it.

Have your dog wearing one at all times.

Get your pet a microchip and sign up with the national registry.

Have several ID tags in case one gets lost.

Use a harness on your cat to keep it on a leash, do not depend on the collar. More cats have been lost with collars on as they can get out of them. Have your cat practice wearing a harness at home a few hours at a time,

Have several leashes (one may get lost) and keep your pet on a leash if it is not in a crate or carrier.

Always know where your pet is at all times.

Miscellaneous articles: Toys, grooming supplies, dry shampoo, flea protection, extra towels, and treats.

Crate or carrier: Make certain the crate or carrier is big enough for the pet to move around comfortably and has room for food dishes and water if necessary.

Crates (for dogs) take up a great deal of room and the ideal product would be a collapsible wire crate with a sturdy lock.

Possible containment for a small or mid sized dog could be a collapsible exercise pen, just make certain the dog cannot dig out or crawl under it. Fasten it down with a stake driven into the ground and fastened to the pen.

First aid kit: Put together a small first aid kit that contains bandages, gauze, antiseptic wipes, some medicated cream recommended by your vet, some tweezers and scissors and a cold/hot pack.

Keep in a watertight container.

These are just a few suggestions to guide you in preparing for a disaster. The most important thing is to be prepared and ready to move when the time arrives.

If you are in doubt as to whether or not you should take your pet ask yourself this question; “would I leave a young child here to cope?” If the answer is no, than take your pet.

What can you do for your pet if you cannot take it

with you? This is in the case of a hurricane or flood. In case of a fire or a tornado warning do not leave your pet.

If you are facing a hurricane, do not leave your pet outside. A bathroom, a closet or a room without too many windows is a good place to start. If you have a basement, keep your pet there.

Here is where a “self feeder” for dry food comes in handy. Fill it with as much dry food as it will hold. If you are leaving several pets get several feeders. If the self-feeders are not possible, leave dry food in containers the dogs or cats can get to. Leave plenty of water in containers that cannot be knocked over.

Leave several articles of clothing that you have recently worn with the pet, your scent will provide some comfort.

Expect a mess when you come home.

Put ID tags on the pet with all necessary information.

Leave your vet’s name and information along with a note giving permission for someone other than you to get treatment for the pet if necessary. Put this information in a plastic bag and nail it to a wall or door so it is visible.

If there is danger of a flood you need to provide places of higher elevation for the pet to get to.

In case of a flood, the cellar is definitely not the place to keep your pet. If you have an idea of the possible flood level, construct some type of area for the pet to climb onto to stay dry. Pile up furniture and create a level space that the pet can reach. Make certain there is food and water available for your pet to eat at floor level and on the higher space.

If you are leaving your dog outside, do not tie or chain it up. Dogs can be left in garages, barns, sheds or even a flat roof (provide a large board in case you are in a sunny area, as a roof can get very hot and burn a pet’s pads.)

Wherever you leave your dog, be certain that it can reach a higher level and that there is food and water there for your pet to eat and drink.

Do not leave treats, vitamins or supplements out for your pet, provide only dry food and water.

If your pet is a cat the same instructions apply. Make certain that the cat has a high place to retreat to in case of high water and that you have placed food and water in that location.

Refrigerators, tall entertainment centers or a shelf in a closet can provide safety for your cat. Regarding cats leave a litter box in the location you have chosen.

Making arrangements with a neighbor to keep an eye on your pet if you are not around when the disaster is due to happen is a good idea. Give your neighbor the necessary veterinarian information and a note allowing permission for treatment if you are not available.

Above all preplan and be ready.

If you are going on vacation be certain to check with the kennel or with the person who is caring for your animals to see if they have a disaster plan. This is where preplanning on your part is important. Have your disaster kit ready for them to use if necessary.

Leaving a pet is a heart-wrenching thing to do and please do not do it unless it is absolutely the only thing you can do. Just writing that sentence has reduced me to tears, as I know I could not leave my pets under any circumstances.

However, if it is necessary, please do your best to provide for the safety and well being of your pet.

Disasters do happen and you can be prepared.

Owning a pet is a big responsibility and with that responsibility comes the job of seeing that your pet is safe and well taken care of. A pet is not a thow-away item, it is a breathing living being and deserves the best care you can give it. For more information on taking care of your pet, please visit my website http://www.cats-and-dogs-on-the-web.com

Lemmings are cute, but dumb. If you tell them to jump off a cliff, they will. Just like the people who start blogs because everyone is doing it. Guess what happens after a little while? The blogs die.

In managing a list of many Web sites, most of which are blogs, I deleted countless sites from the list because the sites and blogs no longer existed. The people ran out of steam or had no reason to start them in the first place.

How do you know when a blog is right for your business? Learn why people start blogs, how they find their niche and how blogging tools can be used for more than blogs.

Some people like to read blogs, others like to read newsletters, still others like to rely on feeds and some read a few or all of them. No matter the method the information is distributed, each medium has one thing in common: content. Having a blog connects your newsletter and your business with all of these readers and delivers important content in a particular style.

I’ve been blogging since June 2000. If you review my early blog entries in meryl’s notes, you’ll notice they’re more personal. When blogs first hit the scene in the late ’90s, they were personal diaries and journals. Like the blog business, my blog has transformed from personal to business speak, although I still add personal notes here and there.

A few bloggers tend to talk about their work, their products and their little world. That might work for celebrities where fans want to know everything about them, but it doesn’t work for the average business person. Other business people want information on how to succeed and when a blog spends time hawking products offering information of no value, few people will return. The people whose products sell well are the ones who provide valuable information. Readers already know what kind of information they’re getting, so they trust that when they buy something, it will be of the same or better quality. This value must be reflected in their blog. It’s much like people who only sign up for a newsletter after first seeing an example.

No one wants to be a lemming (I would hope). How do you decide whether or not to set up a blog? The answer isn’t black or white (what did you expect?). Ask these questions:

• Can you regularly update it — at least five times a week?
• Do you have something to say other than just linking to others?
• Do you read other blogs or feeds?
• Can you provide information of value to others not just to yourself?
• How large is your newsletter subscriber list?
• How many unique visitors do you get on an average day, week or month?

The big decider is whether or not you can write in the blog almost daily. The people behind the high traffic blogs post multiple times a day. Though resourceful, merely linking to other sites doesn’t give visitors much reason to make the effort to come to yours. Reading other blogs or feeds is a great way to learn how to carry a discussion. Find other blogs covering topics similar to yours and check them out. Disagree with their opinions? Write about it and explain your reasons. Cross-blog discussions are common, and that’s where trackback comes in handy.

Trackback is a blog feature. If you decide to comment on another blog posting in your blog instead of in that blog’s comments page, then you link to the conversation through the trackback link. Trackback is similar to the permalink, the permanent URL for the blog entry, but it has a different URL for copying and pasting in your blog’s trackback box.

Aside from the technical aspects of operating a blog on a daily basis, subscriber list size and Web site traffic are good indicators of what kind of reaction you’ll get when opening a blog. Starting from scratch with little traffic means you have a long road ahead and lots of work to do. There is no magic formula anyone can sell you for $97 to make your blog an overnight success. But with some perseverance and ingenuity, your blog can engage many prospects and clients.

Considering there are numerous blogs out there, pick a niche topic when starting a blog for a better shot at attracting and keeping an audience. meryl’s notes focuses on three areas: webby, geeky and wordy. In reality, this is too much. What I need to do for my readers is create three separate blog entry points, so those interested in writing, newsletters and Internet marketing get nothing but the wordy entries. Those interested in Web design get the webby stuff and the technophiles receive the geeky content.

I also manage a personal blog separate from meryl’s notes. It’s about cochlear implants and deafness. This could fall under the geeky category, but it’s a personal blog and doesn’t belong in meryl’s notes. This blog is written for a different audience.

The blogging tools for both of my blogs come with syndication capabilities so those using feed readers or aggregators can read the content through the software. When sending a new issue of a newsletter, comment on it or link to it in the blog, that way the blog and feed readers will get the goods, so all three bases are covered.

Blogging tools aren’t just for, well, blogging. Such tools are an excellent way to help you update your Web site more often than you otherwise would. I use it to manage the list of tableless Web sites. Using blogging tools is much easier than the way I managed it before, updating the HTML files by hand. Though using a blog tool, it isn’t a blog. In this case, the blog tool has become a content management system (CMS).

Small business owners don’t have a need for the fancy and pricey CMSes out there. They find it easier to use blogging software to manage their sites or hire someone to adapt the tool for their site.

Blogs have found a place in businesses and people are finding creative ways to use them. Some companies have a blog on the intranet for communicating project status, jeopardies and metrics. They’re used for knowledge management. With information pouring in, blog tools provide a way to share, organize and process the information.

Being a follower can be good or bad. No one wants to walk off a cliff with the lemmings, but everyone wants to succeed. Best practices won’t help, since the decision to blog is based on the organization’s mission, needs and goals along with its target market’s desires and needs. A blog about lemmings? There is one, sort of. Or maybe you’d like to start your own and talk about dumb business moves.

Meryl K. Evans is the Content Maven behind meryl.net who increases conversion rates by writing and editing content so organization can focus on their core business. She is the editor-in-chief of the eNewsletter Journal and Shavlik’s The Remediator Security Digest. Visit her Web site at http://www.meryl.net/blog/.

What I am going to teach you here is the fact that there is a physical reason for our feeling frightened when put into a position to speak in public. That reason is our body’s perception that speaking in front of others is a “threatening situation” that demands the over-creation of adrenalin. And it is the over-creation of adrenalin that gives us our symptoms of feeling frightened.

Here’s the Good News on managing speech anxiety – I can tell you exactly how to control the over-creation of adrenalin within 15 minutes of you having to stand up to give a speech. I am going to inform you of a doctor-prescribed, safe, inexpensive and non-addictive pill (medication) that will eliminate your symptoms of fear almost instantaneously. Therefore, I can show you how to speak in public without the symptoms of feeling frightened. And if you can “speak in public without the symptoms of feeling frightened ” guess what – YOU CAN SPEAK IN PUBLIC”! Since the pill is a doctor-prescribed medication, not an over-the-counter medication, you will have an opportunity to discuss it with your doctor to confirm that it is safe for you to take. But I can assure you – it is perfectly safe for the vast majority of us. This may sound too easy, but believe me once you learn the physical reason for your speech anxiety or stage fright , you will be able to speak in public better than you’ve ever thought possible.

Let me also say this up-front – The information I present here will help those with a moderate to serious fear of speaking in public, as well as give “an edge” to those who do not really fear public speaking, but just want to improve their performance . Those that have used this information successfully have included many in business who must routinely give presentations , show business folks who want to be able to deliver the best performance possible and those who just join an organization and must participate in large meetings once in a while. The symptoms of fear that I will explain how to control are identical to all of us. The only thing that separates us in terms of public speaking is the severity of those symptoms and how we’re able to control them.

One more thing – you do not have to take the medication I will recommend here forever. It is only necessary during the period of time that you are re-training your brain to understand that speaking in public is not a threatening situation and therefore it doesn’t have to create an over-abundance of adrenaline in order to survive THEREFORE, THE MEDICATION IS REALLY A “TRAINING AID”, NOT A “CRUTCH”.

Speaking in public is the No. 1 fear of Americans. It surpasses our fear of losing our jobs, losing our relationships and, believe it or not, people write in surveys they fear public speaking even more than death (although I suspect that given a true life and death situation, they could muster the courage to give a little speech).

Because speaking in public opens the opportunity for us to be judged by others in a very personal way more so than any other activity we do in life. And it is this fear of being judged that creates anxiety that can be paralyzing at times. Simply put, many of us have a fear of looking foolish, of being laughed at, of making a mistake, of being vulnerable.

That was exactly my problem. For many years my fear of speaking in public kept me from advancement in my company because even though I was very competent in my field (in fact, more competent than many of my peers), I was perceived as not being as competent as those that could speak more authoritatively than I. It got so bad I had difficulty participating effectively in large meetings where I was an expert in the discussion area. I had to do something or my career, and my life for that matter, was going to be mediocre, at best and, at worst, a dismal failure.

My background was research and so I began to investigate the causes of my inordinate fear to speak in public.

Simply put – what I found changed my life forever and it will change yours too.

BackGround

When it comes to public speaking, there are several categories of people:

About 5% of the population do not fear speaking in public at all and actually look forward to it in many cases.

Another 10% are apprehensive to speak in public, but do not have a real fear of it.

However, the vast majority of us (about 80%) have a mild to serious fear of speaking in public; we don’t do it unless we have to and we tend to minimize the opportunities to speak in public if at all possible;

Then there are about 5% of us that have an excessive and almost debilitating fear of speaking in public.

I should admit to you now that I have a serious, and at times, excessive fear of public speaking

and am therefore in the “gray” zone between the 80% and 5% categories. Therefore, I know from

experience what I am going to teach you will help the vast majority of everyone who has a fear of standing up and speaking in public. In addition, this information will also help those who do not really fear public speaking, but just want to give a better performance.

Where Does Our Fear Come From?

This, of course, is a hard question to answer. For many of us the cause of a moderate to serious fear of speaking in public cannot be associated with anything in particular in our childhood. However for others, it can be traced back to a particular incident that has triggered the symptoms felt when faced with the necessity to speak in public. Some of us can vividly remember a particular incident in our lives where we became very self-conscious and embarrassed for some reason in front of a crowd of people. Often this incident occurred as far back as elementary school when our self-worth and self esteem were just beginning to develop and may not relate to actually speaking in public at all.

For instance, if we were in a situation where we stood embarrassed in front of our schoolmates without saying a word,— that could be it. Even though we were not speaking in public, our brains perceived our fear just standing there in front of other people as we thought that we looked foolish and/or scared. In a nutshell – what happens to some of us during this type of incident is our brain links our intense negative feelings with merely standing in front of other people as they look at us. It almost sounds silly that deep fears that control us as adults often have such trivial moments of creation in childhood. Often they last only a minute, but it is a minute that can last a lifetime. I’m sure the people who initiated these terrible incidents in our lives so many years ago never think back to them or to us for that matter. They have no idea what they said or did during that incident had such a profound and lasting effect on us.

Our fears may only be “in our head” but that’s enough to make us react as we do to speaking in public and other anxiety-prone situations. I’m sure you already realize – it’s pretty difficult to change what’s “in our head” even if we can figure out why it’s “in our head” to begin with and why we react as we do to perceived “threatening situations” such as speaking in public.

Luckily for us, understanding the true source of our fear doesn’t really matter. For some reason our brains have created a connection/link between standing up in front of people and speaking with a “threatening situation” of intense vulnerability.

And let me say this now – our fears are completely independent of our intelligence. In fact, I believe those with higher IQ’s may actually be more susceptible to fears brought about by childhood events than those of lower intelligence.

Realistically, a deep-seeded fear may not be “curable” (in the clinical sense of the word). This is because it is a result of our genetic makeup and our external & internal conditioning which is a result of one or more of those incidents I mentioned that created our feelings of anxiety in the first place. But, as I’ll explain in a moment – you do not have to cure your fear; you need only to cure the symptoms of that fear in order to be able to function without fear.

GOOD NEWS & BAD NEWS

First, the Bad News!

For those of us with a serious fear of speaking in public our minds create what I’ll call a “malfunction” of our natural defense system. It is our natural defense system that identifies a “threatening situation” that may confront us and creates the “fight or flight” response in our bodies. For us, when put into a position to speak in public our body’s natural “fight or flight” response initiates the over-creation of adrenaline because we perceive speaking in public as a very serious “threatening situation.”

Therefore, the bad news in this discussion is the fact that our minds cause our bodies to create exorbitant amounts of adrenaline completely out of our control. And it is adrenaline that creates all of the symptoms that make us look and feel frightened.

This understanding that it is the over-creation of adrenaline that creates my symptoms exactly at the time when I must speak in public was the key to finding a cure to my speech anxiety. And I promise you – it is the key for you as well.

It doesn’t matter why we react as we do to speaking in public and it doesn’t matter if we remember a particular incident that triggered our anxiety or not. Since our fear is not based on an actual threat to us, we need only eliminate the symptoms of that fear to gain back our self-confidence and function as if we don’t have fear. Intellectually, we know there is nothing really to fear when we speak in public, but our bodies act as if there is and it’s completely out of our control.

Without the symptoms of fear we can speak in public in a more thoughtful and relaxed manner than we ever thought possible. And if we can speak in public in a relaxed manner, guess what – WE CAN SPEAK IN PUBLIC!! PERIOD Really, it’s just that simple.

Now, the Really Good News!

The symptoms of fear of speaking in public are curable specifically at the time you’re put in a position to speak in public by taking a doctor-prescribed, safe, inexpensive and non-addictive medication. As I will explain, this medication allows us to control the cause of our symptoms exactly at the time when they are getting out of control. Therefore, what I am going to teach you will help those of us who have to routinely give presentations for our careers, those who need to only give several speeches a lifetime for wedding toasts, funerals, and the like, as well as those in show business who must be relaxed and confident enough to focus on their performance.

Here’s why -

As I mentioned, it is adrenaline that creates our symptoms of fear and anxiety completely out of our control. But what if you could control the adrenaline your body creates- then you would be in control!! That is what my research discovered and that is what I can show you how to do – control the adrenaline your body creates by taking a safe, inexpensive and non-addictive medication. And once I show you, you can do it anytime you want, on demand – just 15 minutes before a speaking engagement or performance.

Do I Have to Take the Medication Forever?

No you don’t and here’s why – Taking the medication during public speaking engagements over a period of time, allows the brain to re-think how it feels about speaking in public. With the medication, each public speaking event will increase your confidence as you realize you don’t look or feel frightened. Your brain will eventually understand that public speaking is not the threatening situation that it has assumed. The medication can make it much easier to transition through the period of fearing to speak in public and being confident to speak in public. Because of this, the medication should not be considered a “crutch”, but rather a “training aid” that will allow you to re-train your brain to understand that speaking in public does not require an overabundance of adrenaline in order to survive.

My Web site not only further elaborates on this subject but for a small fee you can instantly download the information to give to your doctor so he can help you be confident when speaking in public. http://www.speechanxietycure.com/

My old farm tractor is the best toy I ever bought. I’m a simple man, I used to enjoy working on my car, changing the plugs, tuning the carburetor, just plain ‘ole tinkering; that changed (along with the rest of the world) when computers entered the picture. And while they have revolutionized the way we live and work, they made tinkering a thing of the past. I refused to let that happen when I bought my first old farm tractor. I’m not a farmer by trade, but I love the land and enjoy dragging my bush hog, it keeps me in touch with the land. And tinkering? Well that keeps my old farm tractor running smooth and gives me some time away from the keyboard.

I learned a lot when I started looking for my first old farm tractor. Old is just a term if the older tractor runs good and does the job intended, but be certain to check thoroughly when shopping. In my case, I brought a neighbor of mine along who just happened to be a John Deere rep, feeling certain he’d give my potential old farm tractor purchase, a good “once over”.

Of course what’s a good older tractor for me, might not be your bailiwick at all, different strokes for different folks. So ask yourself (like you didn’t already know) are you buying the old farm tractor for work or play (restoration)? Are you looking to save money with an older tractor, or are you waxing nostalgic and looking to create a pristine show tractor?

Another thing to consider is the kind of service you’ll expect; will you be working the field, tinkering like I do, or only bringing the old farm tractor out for county fairs. In any of these cases, when you’re looking an older tractor, you’ll want to make certain she’s mechanically sound. If you’re actually a collector (or tinkerer) chances are you’ll know a local mechanic to bring along, they are worth their weight, believe me and could help you find a gem, or avoid a lemon.

First thing my John Deere rep did was climb on the old workhorse to see if she started up easy, telling me if she did, that’s a good indicator that the battery, compression, ignition and fuel lines are in working order. Now if it doesn’t start, don’t head for the hills, just make sure the price is right, since it will need a bit of work.

The farmer who owned the old farm tractor told us to go ahead and… “Take ‘er for a spin”, he smiled then walked away to do some chores. While all sellers might not be so friendly, it’s very important to test the tractor engine when it’s warmed up; are then any leaks, how does the engine sound? Then, shut her down, and see if the old farm tractor starts again.

While you’re warming the old farm tractor up, and assuming you have the go ahead to actually take her out of the barn, check the brakes, if there okay, great, another mark for the plus column, if they’re mushy and might need work, ask how difficult a brake job is, some older tractors have brakes that are very difficult to work on; this is where that farm tractor mechanic friend will come in.

Check to see if the exhaust is, a little blue or black smoke might just indicate a needed tune-up, blue smoke may say ring job. If so, plan accordingly, or find another old gem to buy.

Listen closely to how the old farm tractor engine sounds any unusual deep throated clunking sounds? Let’s hope not, but if do, time to thank the owner for his time, and head for the next prospective choice.

Years ago, back when they had “full service” gas stations, I remember the attendant saying… “Check the oil sir”? And that is definitely something you should do with your older (antique) tractor. Oil in a tractor is the lifeblood, does it look clear (indicating a recent change); or is there foam or water present. If you see drops of water that might be the head gasket and serious problems might exist. Water in the oil is NEVER a good sign; again, time for a “thank you and goodbye”.

Anytime you purchase a piece of machinery with the “new” worn off, take the time to be certain your purchase has aged gracefully. None of us want to see an old antique tractor rusting in a field, but neither do we want to buy a “pig in a poke”. Ask, look, examine, test; and if you’re satisfied, whip out the checkbook, put a smile on a farmer’s face, then take the old farm tractor home and get some work done.

Tangopang is the author and editor of more lawn tractors resources published at [http://www.economytractorsupplystore.com] Find more publications about lawn tractors [http://www.economytractorsupplystore.com] at his website.

Now that my daughter is no longer a baby, I recently started packing up her baby things to donate or throw away. This is a tough task for moms as we tend to grow attached to our children’s baby things, envisioning memories inside stuffed bears and hearing the whisper of bedtime songs in their nursery bedding. After hours of sorting, packing and remembering, I sat down at my daughter’s toddler desk. This was an item that would never be given or thrown away. This was my old desk that my own mother lovingly stored and saved until I had a daughter of my own.

When my mother brought it to us, dusty from being kept in storage for many years, I recall she had said the strangest thing, “The best gifts keeping giving…long after the thank you is said.” It was a curious thing to say and she uttered the words with a little half smile that seemed almost cryptic. I don’t think I had ever seen my mother with quite that expression before. I didn’t understand her curious words or her smile at the time. With my own daughter calling for my attention, already banging the desk drawers opened and closed and the new baby screaming for a bottle, I certainly didn’t have time to contemplate the meaning of anything.

Now, feeling slightly lightheaded with emotion, I sat down at my daughter’s desk. It had seemed gargantuan for her when it first entered her room and now it could barely hold her. I felt the sturdy, solid construction as I perched on the tiny white chair. I ran my fingertips over the top of the desk, still smooth despite hours and years of story writing, coloring and painting. As my fingers moved over the surface I remembered the nights I would kneel beside Emma, helping her form her letters. Memories of hand-crafted birthday cards jumped into my head, giant “I love you, Mommy!” words written by her little hand. Suddenly, I couldn’t bear that my little girl was too big for this desk. Where had the years gone? I couldn’t imagine not peeking into her room and seeing her perched at this desk, head bent and brow furled in concentration, curls bouncing, her smile glowing.

I don’t know how it happened, but tears were suddenly pooling out of my eyes.

This is silly, get yourself together, I told myself. But, I wouldn’t listen to my own reasoning.

That’s how my own mother found me – a grown woman sitting at a toddler desk crying for no reason at all except that her little girl was all-too-soon a big girl.

“What are you doing?” my mother asked me.

“Nothing, just…thinking.”

My mother said nothing, somehow always knowing when no words were needed.

“Remember when Emma made Granddad that card when he was in the hospital?”

My mother entered the room and placed a gently hand on my shoulder, “Sure, she wrote ‘Get better soon, mom won’t give me any candy.”

My mother’s voice was low and soft, soothing, “Many good memories here at this desk. I remember watching you learn your alphabet. How your eyes would light up when you would spell a word right for the first time!”

My mother brushed her fingers across the smooth wood where I had just touched moments before, “I remember picking out this desk for you. It was more than we could afford, but I just knew it was perfect for you.”

There was a heavy silence in the room, both my mother and I contemplating our own memories,

“The best gifts are those that keep on giving…long after the thank you is said,” my mother said.

And suddenly, like a thunderbolt to my brain, I understood. After all those years, I finally got it. This desk, this simple piece of furniture housed more than just pens and markers and crayons. It contained my thoughts and dreams and secrets from when I was a little girl. They were all there, engrained in the wood forever, now enjoined with the hopes and loves of my own little girl. The best gifts do keep on giving, year after year, generation after generation. Quality, meaningful gifts like this little girl’s desk that my own mother selected lovingly for me so many years ago.

The best gifts keep on giving…long after the thank you is said.

“Thank you, Mom. For everything.”

She issued me another cryptic smile. Just then Emma stormed into the room, finding all her baby toys boxed up.

“What are you going to do with my old desk, Mom?” she asked me, her blue eyes full of the dreams that she had already dreamed and someday would live.

“Keep it, of course.”

“What for?” she asked.

“For somebody very special. The best gifts keep on giving.”

http://www.RosenberryRooms.com is the leading online shop for childrens’ furniture, kids art and bedroom décor, offering the largest selection of high-quality childrens’ bedroom products. Find all the best quality bedroom furniture and everything you need to create a beautiful bedroom for your child at http://www.RosenberryRooms.com

In today’s fast-paced society, many families depend on some form of childcare arrangements to help meet the demands of family and work. The majority of parents in America work outside the home, creating a need for dependable childcare. Reliable, responsible childcare employees are crucial to successfully performing your job and caring for your family.

Childcare employees and parents can find numerous resources and organizations to help meet that challenge. You can find practical advice on choosing childcare employees, payroll and tax issues, and hints on how to provide your child with quality childcare. Local, state, and Federal agencies have a wealth of information regarding licensing, insurance, and tax laws.

Many companies are offering on-site childcare to employees as a way to reduce unplanned absences and time lost from work due to family issues. Flexible scheduling and the convenience of receiving high quality day care at your office has made the task of balancing work and family easier for many families. For those who do not have access to childcare at their place of employment, federally funded programs are available to assist you in locating and paying for childcare.

Childcare employees working in federally funded facilities are trained and licensed to maintain a certain standard of quality and professionalism while employed in the childcare center. Information is available to you through a variety of programs to help you in choosing a childcare facility, screen childcare employees, and how to monitor the level of care your child receives while in the day care center or home you have chosen. There are checklists you can copy or print to assist you in asking the right questions and evaluating childcare employees.

The first step in locating quality childcare employees is to identify several candidates and conduct a telephone interview to help you determine which you’d like to speak with or visit in person. Those who don’t impress you during the telephone interview will probably not impress you in person either, so you can eliminate the ones you are not interested in right away. You can then visit or speak personally with the facilities and potential childcare employees who need further consideration.

Once you have made your final decision, you will want to take steps to monitor the quality of care your child receives. This can be accomplished by involvement in your child’s activities, observing your child in the presence of the childcare employee or day care center and discussing any problems or concerns you may have, talking with your child about how he or she feels about the time they spend with the caregiver or in the center or home.

Make frequent visits and observe the number of children and caregivers in attendance, the condition and appearance of the home or day care center, and the atmosphere created by the childcare employees. If the caregiver is employed inside your home, there are a number of electronic surveillance devices that will allow you to monitor the caregiver and you child while you are at work.

Finding adequate childcare is a major concern for families in which both parents work outside the home or single parent families. Utilize the resources available to you and research the facility and/or childcare employees to give you peace of mind at work and to ensure that your child is well cared for and happy.

Ed Charkow is the webmaster for http://www.random-related.com

This article may be republished as long as this resource box remains intact.

Finding gourmet cooking supplies is not as difficult as it used to be. In many ways, it has become easier for you to find all of the supplies that you want and need readily available. This is due in part to more and more people looking for the opportunity to prepare gourmet quality meals at home. Those hard to find but fun tools to use are readily available today. One of the best places to find them is on the web. Yet, finding gourmet cooking supplies is only the start. You also need to consider what else it takes to prepare these meals for you and your family, or perhaps even your clients.

Getting Your Gourmet Cooking Started

The first goal is to find the gourmet cooking supplies that you need. You can find most of them available in a variety of brands that you know and love. Many of the appliances, utensils and other products you need are readily available by brands that used to cater to just the public. Or, you can purchase professional quality products and use them in your home. The goal is to choose supplies that you need and that you can easily use. Look for the highest quality which means that the supplies should be high end, long lasting, easy to use and definitely worth the investment.

If you are new to gourmet cooking, it has become increasingly easy for you to find the education that you need here, too. In most areas there are gourmet cooking schools available that can help you. These are available through culinary schools even to the general public and students not looking to become chefs, but just those wanting to learn how to prepare better quality meals for their family. You don’t have to get a degree to learn the important aspects of gourmet cooking.

Besides having the right gourmet cooking supplies and education, you will need the freshest quality foods. There are several key ways to get this. You should make relationships with your butcher, your fish monger and with your local market vendors. Here you can get the best quality foods for your gourmet meals. You can also find many of those hard to find products available to you at the local supermarket or on the web. This allows anyone to have exactly what they need.

When it comes to gourmet cooking supplies, what you need and what you want can be had by you through the best companies out there. You can be someone that prepared luxury meals and you can find all that you need to make this happen easily today.

Ronald Piper is an online researcher who publishes new information on specialized topics. He provides daily, relevant information and updated content on your favorite interests. To view more articles related to this particular subject, please visit his website at: ronaldpiper.com

Outdoor cooking appliances are simply the most extraordinary inventions that have ever seen the light of the day. Cooking is made an enjoyable and effortless activity thanks to these appliances. Nobody in their right mind wants to set the house on fire, but even than it is far less difficult and dangerous to ignite a fire outside the house for cooking purposes, greatly aided by suitable equipment. These appliances are the essentials of outdoor cooking and facilitate the preparation of tasty and healthy dishes in a jiffy. Amongst the outdoor cooking appliances available, the most widely preferred are Dutch ovens, griddles made from cast iron and cooking grills.

1. Griddles : Griddles made from cast iron present stovetops with greater flexibility. The side with ridges can be employed for grilling and the other plain side can be utilized for making eggs and pancakes. A vital point to commit to memory is that when the griddle is used, you should ensure that it receives proper circulation of air.

2. Jambalaya Pots : A different kind of outdoor cooking appliance is the Jambalaya Pots, which are made of cast iron of approx. 3-10 gallons, and are multifunctional. They are extremely useful in the preparation of stoufee, gumbos, and soups when cooking for a large number of people. On the inside, it is concave in shape, but even then can function as a LPG burner.

3. Cooking Paddle : Then, another kind of outdoor cooking appliance, which is used regularly, is the cooking paddle, which comes in both wood and steel and, largely makes cooking very uncomplicated and easy.

4. Fish Fry Basket : A further kind of outdoor cooking appliance, which is often used, is the fish fry basket, which can be put in the deep fryer.

5. Fry Thermometers : Fry thermometers, which apart from being a safety measure, enable you to check that the meat is cooked at the right temperature and is not over- or under done.

6. Grill Accessories : Grill Accessories can be placed in the storage shelf or rack of the grill. Hence, seasoning food becomes quite easy as all the ingredients are kept close at hand.

7. Deep Fryer Kit : The deep fryer kit is a very popular outdoor cooking appliance and comprises of large and deep fryer pots with a thermometer and a burner included.

One can make cooking seem easy by putting the ingredients on the grill or in the deep fryer very conveniently. You need not invest a lot of time or effort to prepare dishes using the outdoor cooking appliances, as they tend to reduce considerably the cooking time. Many people who lead extremely busy lives opt for grilling as it produces fast results in a relatively short time. At times, the menu should include simple meals and grilling is your best bet as it helps you prepare food with ease. Outdoor cooking can really be a pleasurable activity, more so if you are using the latest equipment, which provide you with valuable assistance. Discover the thrill of cooking outdoors. Take pleasure in what you do best and remember there is no short cut to success. The only exception to the shortcut rule is grilling.

Abhishek is a cooking enthusiast! Visit his website http://www.Cooking-Guru.com and download his FREE Cooking Report “Master Chef Secrets” and learn some amazing Cooking tips and tricks for FREE! Learn how to create the perfect meal on a shoe-string budget. And yes, you get to keep all the accolades! But hurry, only limited Free copies available! http://www.Cooking-Guru.com

AGE OLD QUESTION

Business scholars throughout the planet keep asking the same question and have come to the conclusion that being first into the market place is preferable. Preferable to what? They say every product has a life cycle? What about milk? If that is true and many academia will classify products and services in order to make a point and simply lump them all together. Is this correct? Yes and No. From a theoretical standpoint you could argue either side and have ample data in business history to prove the conclusion you desired. But in essence I would have to say that products and services are much different from each other in so many ways. For instance the reason for the purchase, the valuation, of that service or product for the purchaser, even the delivery and so on. Now it can be argued that there are some products that come with services and the product is not valued by the consumer without the service end of the equation. Maintenance contracts, almost a form of insurance are one type. For let us say a copy machine or something of that nature.

Let us take a mobile service-based business model for this discussion. The reason being I am in the service business and have been for 27 years. http://www.washguy.com and http://www.carwashguys.com.

Is it important to be first in the market? Yes or No? We have been successful competitors at both in various regional markets. If I had to chose, many times depending on the market I would say, I would rather be second or third in a market, evaluate the competition, interview the customers, redesign and define my service, use bundling techniques, price point targets, use their basis for my differentiations, and of course capture their customers. It is far cheaper and more economical to enter a market and skip the high costs of introducing a new service, creating demand or needs where none either existed or was thought of before by the user of such services, or educating and entire market segment and trying to convince them why we had something they needed and could not live without.

So for those reasons I often prefer to take other companies clients by offering the consumer what they really want at a price they are more willing to pay or offering services so far superior that the customer felt impelled to switch. Try Sprints marketing for instance; “let me review your current long distance charges and let’s see how much money we can save you?” Or better yet our Entrepreneurial legend of Europe Richard Branson. He was not really first at anything, just giving the consumer another choice and addressing their true desires. Does it work? Yes 50 brand names later, Virgin is a force to be addressed or relinquish the market share. This does not mean it works every time, but he can market to the consumers who have already chosen a certain service and simply offer them better.

I talked with the marketing executives of Dominos Pizza at an International Franchising Association Conference and they discussed this phenomena with our team. Think of going into a country that never had pizza before and trying to convince them that they should all buy dough with melted cheese on top covered with other food items. They simply look at it and say I would rather have a Fajita Pita or worse what is this and why should I eat it? The first company in has to get everyone to try it and spend bu-co advertising dollars.

The second company in only has to offer the pizza once the countries citizens have decided, Hey this Pizza Thing with the cheese and stuff on it, is not all that bad after all. Much easier sell. See the point? And it has been played out over and over again and guess what, the aggressive agile company can easily move quicker and with better profits once the service or in this case the Pizza is accepted by the masses. Now does Pizza have a trend cycle? It is food, and last time I checked people were eating more not less, judging by the sponsorship paid to that girl who gave head to the President by Jenny Craig. Oh yah, Monica what is her name?

I have been watching this trend in markets and found more than ample opportunity to come in behind the spenders and simply take what we want as far as market share and leave the first in competitor to fight for the scraps we leave them. Chances are they have an exit strategy and when they feel their curve is declining jump out at what they feel is a mature market and take their gain or loss in some cases. Yet they fail to realize its full potential or maybe do not care and will look for another easy market or product line to enter, always trying to ride the up curve. Even if a company who is already in the market is a tough competitor, no matter, let us take Service Master. We would have nothing to lose as an entry into one of their markets and everything to gain. They on the other hand have nothing to gain only market share to lose. If they decide to fight and refuse to relinquish market share they must turn on the direct sales, advertising, and marketing efforts, thus expanding the market for us. So if they had a 15% market penetration and we were to take 2%, that leave them with thirteen percent.

To keep quarterly numbers they need to increase the total market available to both of us to 17%. Also keep in mind that 2% of the two percent will be for us at no charge. That is truly free simply for seeking their unsatisfied customers and switching them. Now they must differentiate us from them thus spend more in advertising, which in doing so advertise that we exist and their customers actually do have a choice, it is a no win situation for them? Hardly an attribute for being first to market in my opinion? Hardly an advantage at the point of an entrant, a strong second to market competitor. If a second to market competitor slips in a price war because we have a nearly zero advertising budget using theirs to generate our expansion, then we can charge less. Let us say they charge $1000 for a given service and 15% is in sales and advertising. That means we can automatically charge 15% less than they do for the same profits. Faster ROI too. Also we did not have to pay the original marketing to get the ball rolling either. Very good deal. Why market when they already have simply ask their customers for the order and charge the less price. If they cannot handle it they can exit the market or spend more money to keep ahead of us until their own energy works against them. Similar to the Art of Judo. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way.

So why attack the competition? It is not really an attack. It is imperative that as a franchisor I stay efficient to therefore use maximum leverage of available resources to help the franchisees, who invested in the business get their proper return to feed their families. So then, we have found that is far less expensive to take the competitions customers through superior service and lower or more fair pricing or bundling (what the customer many times feels is more important) than to ferret out new customers through blanket marketing of junk mail or telemarketing. So then why not simple forget the high dollar marketing unless of course you happen to be first in the market anyway.

This is also a strategy preferred by scholars as the best possible scenario. Take the lead and hold onto for as long as possible. We have been successful at this approach too. It requires a different approach. Since generally we are in the lead I cannot discuss our strategies for this scenario on the Internet, but trust me, we play to win, whether we are in the lead or are ready to overtake the leaders. It is important for those who can offer products or services in an open market to understand that the “First to Market Strategy” may not be the best strategy all the time.

“Lance Winslow” – Online Think Tank forum board. If you have innovative thoughts and unique perspectives, come think with Lance; www.WorldThinkTank.net/. Lance is an online writer in retirement.

Our children are our most important legacy to the world. However, our love is our most important legacy to our children. Here are seven ways to show love that will help children build sturdy foundations for the future.

1. Spend Time with Your Children.

Time is the most loving gift we can give to our children. It allows for the mutual exchange of ideas, emotions, actions, and words that help our children develop and learn to communicate.

Enjoy a toddler’s tea parties as well as a teen’s ball games. Help your children build things and create art. Begin new family traditions that you can enjoy together each year. Ample time spent in mutually enjoyable activities will create memories you will always treasure.

2. Be the Primary Role Model for Your Children.

Children need examples to follow. Teach practical values to your children by modeling those values. Admit when you have made a mistake and apologize. Model being committed to the ideals you embrace. Demonstrate the advantage of integrity over peer pressure.

We teach and influence children more through actions than words. We are our children’s first heroes; the ideals that we live today are the ideals that will influence our children throughout life.

3. Listen to Your Children.

A child’s message is one of his or her most essential gifts. We build self-esteem in children when we show interest in what they have to say. Children need to communicate their pride of accomplishment as well as their needs.

Get down at eye level with very young children and listen with your eyes, ears, and heart. Listen most of all to the feelings conveyed through a child’s eyes and expressions. If you listen to your children deeply, they will grow up listening deeply to you.

4. Provide Your Children with Loving Discipline.

Children need guidelines and safe boundaries without being constrained unnecessarily. They need to learn the value of being accountable for their choices and actions.

Let your children know that you disapprove of hurtful actions but will always love them as sons and daughters. Loving discipline enables them to recognize the best in other people. It allows children the freedom to explore the world safely and reach their highest potential.

5. Give Your Children Encouragement.

Encouraging words are powerful emotional deposits of confidence and self-esteem. Verbally acknowledge your children’s special talents and accomplishments. Catch your children doing something great, and tell them what a great job they have done.

Children need to know that we recognize and support their hopes and dreams for the future. Encouraging children to grow mentally, emotionally, and spiritually provides the foundation for living a balanced life.

6. Share Your Experiences with Your Children.

We each have valuable stories to tell, unique maps of our journey through life. These stories tell how our reactions to events created the life we are living now. Sharing the benefit of your experiences — the roadblocks and rewards — is a very loving way to guide your children.

Your children may face many of the situations you faced. Your experiences can help them make informed decisions and avoid unnecessary mistakes. Among the most worthwhile possessions that we can someday leave for our children are journals filled with the stories that shaped our lives.

7. Love and Support Your Children Unconditionally.

Love is an unconditional gift from the heart; it is not a reward for good behavior. Let your children know that you will love and support them in any situation. This message creates a sturdy bond of trust. Your children will grow to feel safe in coming to you with any problem they face.

Children need the freedom to make decisions, try new things, and learn that life requires personal responsibility and persistence. They need the freedom to fail and learn from mistakes without being judged. Unconditional love helps them to acquire the decisiveness and resiliency required to become successful.

If you could sum up all of our children’s needs, hopes, and expectations in one word, that word would be love. We share love when we play a central role in our children’s world of learning and discovery. Our legacy of love will have a guiding influence upon our children and grandchildren for many generations.

© Copyright by Steve Brunkhorst. Steve is a professional life success coach, motivational author, and the editor of Achieve! 60-Second Nuggets of Inspiration, a popular mini-zine bringing great stories, motivational nuggets, and inspiring thoughts to help you achieve more in your career and personal life. Get the next issue by visiting http://www.AchieveEzine.com

Every Internet Marketer makes mistakes, and those mistakes usually cost you money! It’s important that we learn from the mistakes that we make so that we do not make them again, and so that we can gain insight into where we went wrong. I have compiled a list of the 10 most common mistakes Internet Marketers make. My goal is to help you steer clear of these mistakes in the hope that I can save you some money, and time!

=>Mistake #1 – Using the Content Network

When you start a Google PPC campaign you should always remember to turn the content network off. The reason for this is because you do not want to receive traffic from pages with Google Adsense on them as these pages are many times plagued with click fraud and non targeted traffic. If you are not an expert, you should not be using the content network. I do not use the content network because it can cost you an arm and a leg and produce absolutely zero positive results.

To turn the content network off, log into your adwords account, click on a campaign, then click the “Edit Campaign Settings” button. On the right of the screen “uncheck” the box that says “Content Network”. You can leave “Google Search” and “Search Network” checked.

=>Mistake #2 – Too Many Keywords per Ad Group

Limit the amount of keywords per Ad Group to less than 25 keyword (75 if using broad, phrase, and exact match types). Having more than 25 keywords can negatively affect your Quality Score as the more keywords you have, the less relevant they are to the ad. DO NOT put more than 25 keywords in an ad group unless all keywords are very highly relevant.

=>Mistake #3 – Keyword Grouping

When you put your keywords into an Ad Group you need to make sure that they are all very similar and have at least one common keyword. You will want to use the keyword(s) within the ad title and description as much as you can. Here is an example:

Ad Group Name: Internet Marketing

Common Keyword: Internet Marketing

Keywords: internet marketing, internet marketing book, internet marketing resource, internet marketing guide, best internet marketing book, internet marketing ebook, internet marketing help.

AD:

Internet Marketing e-Book

Learn How to Make Money Online

Top Internet Marketing eBook Review

YourSiteName.com

You can see that the common word has been use in the adcopy and that all keywords have the common word Internet Marketing. This is how to properly set up an ad Group.

=>Mistake #4 – Using only Broad Match Type

To optimize your keywords for best performance and highest CTR you need to use Broad, Phrase and Exact Match Type Options. A common mistake is to only use the Broad Match Type as many people are not aware of the other match types.

Broad Keyword: Internet Marketing

Phrase Keyword: “Internet Marketing”

Exact Keyword: [Internet Marketing]

Use all three keywords within your Ad Groups.

=>Mistake #5 – Low Daily Budget

If you are wanting to achieve high amounts of traffic you cannot expect to do so with a low daily budget. If your budget is $5 / day and you set your campaign to reflect this budget, chance are that you will not achieve much traffic at all. Google displays your ads based on a number of factors including daily budget. If your budget is set too low your ads will barely be displayed at all. We recommend setting your daily budget slightly higher than you are actually prepared to pay, then monitor your costs. It’s very difficult to get any kind of traffic with a very low daily budget.

=>Mistake #6 – Duplicate URL’s

Google only allows one url to be displayed in their search results per keyword and advertiser. If you are advertising the url: http://www.wealthyaffiliate.com, and another advertiser is advertising the same url, only one ad will be displayed. When coming into a new market there is often another advertiser already advertising the url that you would like to. In this case you need to either raise your CPC in order to outbid the competitor, or, create a landing page. Landing pages always convert into sales better as web surfers like to read reviews, comparisons, and opinions about products prior to making a purchase. If you are not getting impressions for some of your Ad Groups, this could be one of the reasons why.

=>Mistake #7 – Keyword Bid Price too High

When you set your bid prices you need to have a limit, and unless you are an experienced marketer and know that your Ad Group / keyword / ad combinations make you sales you shouldn’t bid too high. I know that you are anxious to get some traffic, but paying $5.00 per click is much too high. On that note, paying $1.00 is many times too high. Try to keep your bid prices as low as possible while achieving the best position you can. Do not try to get traffic by simply out bidding your competitors. The idea is to outsmart competitors using relevent keyword groups and in turn you will pay less and see better results.

=>Mistake #8 – Ad Positions are Too Low

When trying to get traffic to your site you need to use the Google Traffic Estimator to help you determine how much you should bid per keyword. Many times if your CPC (cost per click) is too low, your position will be greater than 10 and you will not be on the first page of search results. For best traffic try to be in position 2-9 (on the first page of search results in Google). With this being said, it is sometimes very expensive to be on the first page and you may be forced to be in page 2. This is ok because as your Quality Score goes up, so will your positioning. Try to get on the first page, but if you cannot because of the bid price being too high, don’t worry, you’ll eventually get there by using our techniques to get a better Quality Score.

=>Mistake #9 – Non-Targeted Keywords

If you are advertising a product like WealthyAffiliate.com or Beating Adwords, you may be inclined to use keywords such as:

Marketing, ebook, Affiliate, Money.

The problem with these keywords is that they receive a lot of traffic, which costs you an arm and a leg, but the traffic does not convert into sales. The reason is because the keywords are not targeted enough. If you are selling Beating Adwords, our new Internet Marketing ebook, using the above keywords, the visitors are not necessarily looking for an IM ebook. If someone types in the keyword “Money” they could be looking for help with Microsoft Money, or Currency Exchange Rates. Same with the keyword “ebook”. Someone could be looking for a golfing ebook, or how to create an ebook.

You need to make sure that your keywords are highly targeted to what you are selling. For example: Internet Marketing ebook, or Make Money Online would be better choices to replace the keywords mentioned above. The more targeted your keywords are to your product, the better conversions you will see.

=>Mistake #10 – Too Many Ads when Split Testing

Split testing allow you to run more than one ad for an ad group to see which adcopy (the text of the ad) creates a higher CTR. In other words, which ad entices searchers to click more frequently. Split testing should only be done using two ads and no more. This way you can determine which ad performs better. You want to treat split testing as a contest, or even a competition. The better performing ad gets to move on to the next round, while the lower gets replaced by a new competitor.

Limit the number of ads you are running per Ad Group to 2 ads when split testing.

On a final note: Expensive mistakes can be made easily in the world of internet marketing and there is risk as we learn and take on competitive markets. Having mentors and a strong network of supportive colleagues is important, if not imperative for success. There are more and more poeple logging on every day, and the market continues to grow. However, unless you approach internet marketing with an understanding of the pitfalls and a plan for success, it will be difficult to foster lasting success. Internet marketing, in all its hype, is only a business (not a get rich quick scheme.) All successful businesses must begin with a plan.

Steven Mohrman is an Internet Marketer and member of Wealthy Affiliate 2.0. Wealthy Affiliate 2.0 is an interactive community and learning center providing amazing coaching, support, and tools to its members. If you wish to benefit from 1 on 1 support and coaching for your marketing success visit: http://affiliatewealthpage.blogspot.com/